Friends

Friends are how we get through every day of every year. God puts people in our lives whenever he sees a need for them. Sometimes they are there to comfort us and support us. Sometimes they are there to teach us life lessons. He places them in our lives for however long we need them. Some friends are life long and others move through for just a quick minute.

I have been blessed with every kind of friend. Although those that are here for just a quick minute, doesn't mean you lose them. It just means that they have come through and made an impact on our lives and then they move on. Life gets busy and you lose touch. You will never forget them or what they taught you or gave you. They stay in a special place in our hearts and heads and we will remember them when we need to.

One of my friends from work is moving on. She and her family are able to move to the next place in their life journey. Moving home close to their family will truly be a blessing and I am so happy for them. I have to ask myself what God had planned when he put her here for me. I think I know the reason. She has taught me that life is not that perfect square box that we think it is. That thinking outside the corners or under the floor, is okay. I tend to be judgemental and closed minded. She has given me many things that caused me to grow as a person. I am sure that I still don't understand all that God had planned. There will be times in my life that I will be faced with a decision to make and her words will be remembered.

She has also given me support and encouragement when I have needed it. She has shown me how to love by her actions. This is God's plan. The way we live our lives when we don't know anyone is watching. Well, that is what we should strive for.

We don't speak every day and our lives outside of school never cross. But I consider her my friend and hope that she knows how much I love her and how much she will be missed.
I am still hoping for an orthopedic High Heel club so I can join. I want some Cheerleader red lipstick that doesn't come off all day.... I hope her and Brock enjoy raising those two beautiful baby girls on the farm.

I will miss you  Amanda Puffett. I would say some great quote from Star Wars or Harry Potter, but I can't think of any...

Classroom CJH 2010/2011

At the end of the day, I had finished my 3rd year working at CJH. I was blessed with the opportunity to work full time in a class room full of God's angels in this 3rd year. I fell in love with all the children at this school immediately when I began in the fall of 2008. I never could have guessed the blessings God would send me when I started this journey..

I needed to find a job that would help with some of our finances. I had to be able to work short hours and be able to work only when my health would let me. I knew a few people who had been substituting. I was torn as being a teacher had never crossed my mind. I had worked in a day care during high school. I also had 3 children of my own. I loved my kids, but others got on my last good nerve very easily. After giving it some thought, I decided to try it. After all, I could always quit. That last sentence makes me laugh now.

My first year I worked at several schools, and was trying to figure it all out. I got a call from CJH. And here is what I figured out. I love the babies; Pre School and Kindergarten and even 1 st and 2 nd grade, These children love you. And then you have the "Zombies", which translates to High School Students. Of course they aren't all bad, but you never know from one minute to the other what is going to happen. Hello...I am the teacher, you can't just get up and leave. Sorry...And then we have the JR High gang. The majority of these kids are good and they are transitioning now from that little boy or girl into young ladies and gentlemen...You know that Transition Juice that is made up of Hormones and surge through the body causing them to malfunction. So you have the little ones that love, love, love you and have an attention span of about 2 1/2 minutes. You have the High School kids that don't need you because they already know everything. I prefer the middle kids. These have to be my favorite age. Well, people have called me crazy before. They also worry that I have lost my mind. I don't want to burst the bubble, but I am not sure I have ever had one to lose.

My granddaughter Anna, was in the 7th grade at CJH when I started. It was nice to spend time with her and meet her friends. I became known as either Ms. Mathes or Grandma. These young kids are still trying to make up their minds on the things they've learned.. Still waiting on waking up and KNOWing everything. And lastly, Administration at CJH has made me feel Golden. They treat me like I am doing them a huge favor and I am trying to figure out if they would let me work even if they don't pay me.

In the first two years I worked here, I got to experience all classes and students. From the Extremely Handicapped and Autistic children to the Students with Top Honors and those slightly out of tuned ones that land in ISD on a regular basis. I love them all. This past year I spent all my days in the extremely handicapped classroom. This didn't stop me from loving all my students. Every chance I got, I was out mingling with my other kids. I know that the students think I am pretty crazy, but they are good natured about it. And while they still have trouble showing respect 100 percent of time, I think they do respect me.

My year in the classroom full of God's "Angels" ended on May 26. And I have learned so much. We forget sometimes when we care for them, that they are people. And they may not see, or hear as well and we really are not so sure what they understand. One of our girls is blind and so tiny and bent. It is easy just to walk up to her and start wiping her face or sticking the spoon in her mouth. I don't know when I realized that speaking to her before I touched her was so important. And touching her and kissing her forehead. Another of our angels, I learned to hold her hands when I would talk to her. Instead of talking at her or around her, when you hold her hand, she seems to listen. One young man walks around in another world most of the time bouncing his ball. And we would go for walks and you wonder how far away he really is when the look he has in his eyes looks to be about a 1,000 miles. And one day as I was caring for him, he leaned in for a very sloppy kiss. I could write and write about my kids, but then I would end up giving you names and that isn't allowed. I just know that these kids stole my heart. They accepted me into their world and gave me so much joy. On that last day of school, I realized that for two of my angels, I would not see them again. They have moved on. I hope that their new school and teachers will know them and see into their hearts and souls. Give them the respect and dignity they deserve. Maybe I will have to visit at WMHS and check in.

In August when I return to my journey, I will be joined at CJH by my grandson Billy Michael. He has some learning disabilities with a main diagnosis of Autism. I can't wait to be there with him. To help him feel comfortable and learn to love the school as much as I do. I will be returning to the general population so to speak, seeing all the students in different classes. Getting to know the 7th and 8th graders this year. With little contact or knowledge of the new 8th graders, it will feel like that first day 3 years ago.
I also will be thinking about that day 1969 when I first walked into CJH as a student in the 7th grade. This school is always like coming home for me. I feel like Peter Pan in the land where I never have to grow up.

I can't finish this blog with out thanking a few of the people I have been blessed to know. First of all, the administration. Mr.Peak you have gone out of your way to accommodate me this year. You could have filled my position at any time. I am sure it would have made it easier. Your understanding in all of this has been another testimony of the person you are. The students at CJH are so fortunate to have you in their lives.
Ms. Terry Sanders,You have been such a blessing to me. Your effort to give me the best and most positive experience every day has not gone unnoticed. You have been so good to me and given me so many opportunities. I can't thank you enough. Really, you should get a raise. The teachers at CJH are so welcoming to me. I am sure I am not the exception. You treat your subs with respect. Like I have said before. You make make me feel golden. I have heard some horror stories from other schools. Also, the librarians, are also available and help me anytime I need them.  Thank you CJH. Even our janitors go out of their way to make us welcome.

Our classroom consists of one lead teacher and 4 paras. In January we welcomed a new lead teacher into our classroom. Cindy worked very hard and long to get her degrees and pass her test to work in a classroom like ours.Thank you, Cindy for allowing me to continue to work the year out. Our kids need consistency with as little change as possible. We had been going through many changes with the leaving of our head teacher and other para. Then my 3 co workers. We had a great team and everyone was considerate of each other and all of you just dug in and we got things done. You always treated me as an equal even though...I was "Just a Sub".Miss Becca, Miss Coach Oliver and Miss Holly. I love you guys and will miss working with you. We became great friends I think.

 

Two other teachers came in every day to work with our kids. Coach D.Eddy and Ms. Beaty. 

 Coach Eddy was the PE teacher for our kids. We both were alumni from CJH. Best part of that, he will always be older than me. He also made me feel golden.

Ms. Beaty was our 5th hour teacher. She came in everyday and taught our students about science and geography. She loved our kids and entertained us. I could talk to her for hours, as I always learn something new when she is there. I can hardly wait for her to be a part of my grand children's education. She is in the lab classes and she will have probably 3 of them. I know she can't wait to retire and move to New Zealand, however I had to tell her NO, not yet. Ms. Beaty truly loves her job and the kids. I will miss working with you both everyday. I know I will see you, but it won't be quite the same. 

I know I am leaving out more thank yous and praises, but I have to end this soon. If I wrote around the clock about the Administration, Faculty, Support employees, and the students at CJH, I could not praise them enough, or let them know how much I love them. So I am finally shutting up and leave you with this; Goodbye for now. Enjoy your summer, I will see you at the beginning of the 2011/20012 school year if you let me.

Being A Teacher

You know that this makes the 3rd year that I have been substituting at my old Junior High. I never knew how much I would love this kind of work. It just suits me. I think that sometimes the different seasons of your life dictate of where you should be. The problem with that is I never prepared to be a teacher. For that reason, I take the lower pay and only do this part time. Most of the students love me and that is important. What I cannot get over is how the faculty and administrators treat me. I feel Golden and that doesn't mean in years. I am treated with so much respect and appreciation. They do not understand that I feel privileged to stand in for those that give so much.

I blame my danged old condition preventing me from continuing my education so that I can stand amongst the heroes that are called "Teachers". I know that I am not stupid, and eventually I might make it through. But now that I am 53, by the time I would graduate, if I could find a job, I would not be able to enjoy the kids but for a few years. You don't understand, I would have to go to remedial college before I could start real classes. So I get the best next thing. I get to share. Share the fun of being in these kids lives, possibly making a difference without all the baggage. I get to have the fun without the junk. I get to leave the paper work and administrative duties to the teachers. I don't have to deal with the parents and administrators.

I hope to make a difference and shine a light into that student that might be struggling. Nothing makes me happier than seeing a child believe that I believe in him or her. You can just tell sometimes when you make a connection. You know that teachers need more money. But now I understand why they are still working without that raise. It comes from the heart. 

I also get the opportunity to work side by side with the teachers. When I am working for a Para, that means I am in class with the real Teacher. I try to take away something from each opportunity I get. Thank you for giving me so much as you do your job.

A few more weeks of working in the severely handicapped class, and then I am back out in the general population. I love all sides of this job. So it doesn't matter which class I work in. But I do like to mix it up. To see the kids in different dynamics. Most of the teachers only see them in one situation. How they behave in their classes could be different depending on the mix of children in that hour. Is it before or after lunch? Do they love math, or is it their Achilles Heel? Maybe reading is where they shine. For me I see them differently on a daily basis.

So I will continue, for as long as they let me, to come in and enjoy these wonderful kids. Hopefully they won't realize I am not "Golden" for as long as I want to be there. 

I Love My School KIds

It seems that I have lots to say about lots of stuff. I know this is not very good grammer, engilsh, or composition, it is what it is. . I feel I like I am getting ready to RAMBLE...Fair Waring here..OK here goes...
If you know me, or if you don't know ME, but have read my blog...And I am sure not many people have, but if are know anything, you know that I have only worked in the school since the fall of 2008. I began substituting in October of that year.  At first I was a little scared, and I was only doing it because you know, I needed a little extra money. But then I settled down at one school

A school I attended the first time in 1969 as a 7th grader. Wow that was a long time ago. And I made this school my home. My grand daughter was in the 7th grade there when I started. She was loved by friends, acquaintances and teachers. And as I started becoming a regular in school and the children knew me and liked me, it became more than a job. I absolutely love it. I came home this week everyday, dead dog tired, and I walked in to the house today after work...I said..Mike I love love love my job.

I don't think I've ever regretted not going to college to get a degree until now. I know it is never too late, but to go back to school, I would waste years that I could be enjoying doing what I am doing right now. I think I grew up too late. Of course when my kids were young, and living at home, it was all about making a living and trying to get them through school. I didn't do a very good job at either.

Today was the Moore High School Homecoming Parade. And as we stood outside at the street and watched the students coming, I was trying to see the students that had touched my life and then moved on to high school. The pride in my chest was so big as I saw them and they waved. And my heart grew ? how many sizes today. And I just want them to succeed and be the best that they can be. I want them to enjoy being kids and I want them to reach the stars. I want the hard lessons to touch them in only positive ways.

I know I have grown since my children were this age. And the advice I gave them, probably wasn't the best. I know just by the way they have grown up, I got some of the important things right. They are kind and compassionate humans that care for other people. They love each other and their families. They respect Mike and I.

But I feel guilty that I wasn't always the person they needed me to be. I have to say I am not as open minded as I should be, but I am getting better. I do believe there is such a thing as being too open minded, but enough said about that. As far as my kids, I could write for days on how badly I messed up as a parent. I hope they know I love them, and when I was psycho mom, it was more about me than it was about them. And it is a price children pay when you have them too young literally and emotionally. Of course all parents make mistakes...you just love your children and do the best you can.

Back to my school kids. I have this thing called "can't keep my mouth shut when I have an opinion". Well not exactly my mouth, but more my fingers. So over the past 2 years, most of my kids want to be my friend on Facebook. Of course I will be your friend. But when you post something on line, you risk me telling you how I feel about it. And if I think there might be a lesson to learn, or if I can think of some thing that I think would be good advice, I am going to tell you. If you are being a diva, I might tell you. I am going to tell you how beautiful you are whether you want to hear it or not.

Now all of this being said, I just have to say I love all my students. And unlike the teachers.. I see these kids in may different scenarios. It is hard to be a brand new teenager. All those hormones...mixing you up. All the peer pressure to fit in. The social stuff at school is so important. But we still have to fit school in there somewhere. At the age when we have decided that our parents and teachers are just plain stupid. And we feel that nothing we do is good enough. And the pull between doing what is right and what we really want to try. And why are the consequences so hard....And then zits and braces and hair that won't look like every one else.

So here I am on Facebook and these kids respect me enough to want to be my friend. I am sure parents are saying who is this crazy lady. But even though I don't like being this old woman, these kids act like they have a respect for me...."ME???" Goodness Gracious...why??? But they do. And when I see that they are having a hard time, I can't keep my mouth shut. I do try to come across to them that their Parents, Teachers, and Clergy Person are the most important and what they say is the rule. I think sometimes they need to hear from someone who is not a parent, or relative that they are special and beautiful. You know..it is like, your parents have to love us, but Mrs. Mathes said that about me.???Maybe it's true. I had a teacher like that. I observed the way that she made the kids that maybe didn't fit in anywhere feel special. Those kids that had to have a little more pushing to get their work in...maybe a trouble maker in another class. She made them feel good about themselves. I hope I can do this for my kids. They are so worth it.

I hope that they can see I really, really mean it.  I also try to make them understand that the teacher that pushes them, really loves them.. Mrs. Yaffe is a great woman who has been teaching a very long time. She pushes them because she knows that if she doesn't...they will have a very difficult time in school and life. I hope I can make them see to grasp all that these special teachers can and will give them.

I warned you this was going to be long. All this to say...I love love love my job...love the kids, wish I had been a teacher when I grew up, hope the kids respect me and learn how very special and important they are.

"Teachers and Twilight"

I am not sure of the title for this particular "story". I guess I will start writing and it will come to me. First of all, just a note to let you all know...I am having way too much fun at school this year. I know that I am only a sub, but I only sub at one school and am there almost every day. The students know me and most love me as well as the teachers and the staff. But I guess I am really cheating as I get the good without all the junk.

Let me explain "junk" as best as I can. Since I really don't know what all the teachers have to do. I do know they have so much more to do besides "teach". They have tons of paperwork. They are responsible for every child that comes through their class. They have to answer for each and everyone of their failures as well as their successes. Not only are they responsible for 100 plus students, and keeping the school up to date, they have to answer to the parents of each one of these students. And while they are fighting to get each and everyone of these children through school, they don't always have the support of the parents. They have students that can't do enough for them, as well as the child who refuses to even bring a pencil to class.
Oh, also, they have to continue their own education throughout their careers. And if they should have their own families, how do they fit that into the day...
Thank you Teachers, I see now you are truly awesome and really way underpaid. I also see that most of you are here because your heart and soul is about loving and sharing and lifting these kids up. It is not about the money...

This is not what I am here to write about. I came here to talk about my new obsession. I know Twilight...but not even that, but the craziness of the paparazzi and the fans...and those that are so obsessed with Rob and Kristen.

I hate to admit that I have kids older than them. I have a Grand daughter almost as old as Kristen..."Ouch, That hurts"...But I feel for these kids... I know that they chose this life and it is in essence one of the "evil" rewards of the job. It is like, if you have a job and you are working and people love you...well that has to be the "Why" of doing this kind of work. But these kids started young and when they are in a movie like "Twilight", well it speaks volumes for them when they can tell it so well. And then they wake up and now someone is capturing every single second that they exist on camera...and sharing it with the world. They get no time to do have a bad day. And all the screaming girls after Rob...I guess I never understood that.

When the story is as good as this you can expect people to project themselves on to the characters in the movie and that get's lost with fiction of the character and the reality of the people portraying them on screen. And for these characters to come through to the screen, you know that the people that bring them there, have to believe and feel every moment of the story...So now you take two young people doing a grownup job trying to portray these characters, they have to become that character for a brief while..How could they not project themselves their feelings to the character and these characters project themselves on to the actors. I know this sounds weird, like a roller coaster. Right? Okay if you are still able to follow my insanity this far, listen a little longer. Most Actors do their job and have all they hype for the brief time...Then they move on and do other things...But these folks have to do this again 3 more times if the fans are lucky. All the craziness that was new to them is now getting old, and the 2nd movie isn't even out yet. They have signed on to do this again and again. They are now shooting the 3rd movie. I can only imagine they wish they could make the last one immediately and be done with that. Then they wish that all 3 movies come out within months of each other so that they can just get over with and move on...I cannot imagine having every moment of your life on camera can be pleasant...You could tell from interviews and things that Rob had said, that he was already so tired of the same old same old.

Now the craziest thing, is that we want the story to be real. In order for that to happen, our characters Rob and Kristen have got to live the story, right. They have to be in love too. What kind of expectation is that. I already think that they have to feel something like that when doing all the scenes together...But to expect it from them is crazy...And then like I said before..most actors are able to shoot, promote and then go on...And if they do have a relationship off screen as well, then if it isn't real, they will move on...You know like in the "Notebook". Our characters there fell in love as did the actors; Ryan Gosling, Rachel McAdams. Poor Ryan went through hell when they broke it off. My gosh how could he Noah do that do our Allie...

Rob and Kristen are so so young...and of course I love a great love story, and wish that they could have happily ever after... The odds are not in their favor. What are the odds? Oh no...I am going to do it...No, I won't...I am not going to quote the book here...but it is in the book "New Moon" on page 508. I am obsessed.

So here is to you Rob and Kristen....I wish you the best, and I wish that on the other side of all this craziness you are still friends and that what ever you choose you are happy. That life treats you well. I know it seems I am obsessed with you...Not really...I just want to see the movies now...and I hope that you continue to make my "Twilight World" enjoyable...I don't care to see you standing on the corner pumping gas in your car, or sharing dinner...so go away paparazzi. I just want to see the taping of the movies and the trailers and the behind the scenes...And as always...I want to see you all enjoying it to the rides end and you get off the roller coaster in one piece. Oh...and if you by some miracle chance see this blog and want to make just one wish of mine come true...I would love to play dress up and walk the red carpet some day ....Just have someone ask me..."Whose dress are you wearing?"