It has been forever since I have been here, and I am sorry that I disappeared off the radar.
I have been subbing at school and enjoying that very much...
I also have been in a flare for a while...First it was my arthritis and my danged old knees...I had arthritis...When that finally calmed down it jolted a FM flare...finally that also is subsiding...still having pain, but not the intense burning aching that nothing helped.
Today is Thanksgiving Eve...hmmmm I guess we really don't celebrate that do we...Just those that have to finish shopping for the meal and starting to cook for tomorrow...
Also it is the 26 th...5 years ago today, my Dad had a heart attack and passed away. It was also the day before Thanksgiving. I miss him so much. I wish that I could get just one more hug and kiss from him. Well that is not true, because one more would not be enough. Everyday I think of him, everyday I miss him, and one more day would not cover all the rest...
He was only 67 when he died...way too young... And looking back through the years, I did not always believe he was the best Dad in the world. No he had his faults as anyone does, and in the moment, there were lots of times I was so angry with him. His choices he made were not always the best...But I always knew he loved me. He also taught me so so much. And he knew the answer to every question. I wonder if my kids think the same of me or my husband, their dad.
He loved me unconditionally. That in itself is the greatest feeling in the world. I was always good enough in his eyes. Heck I was better than good enough. In his eyes, I might have made mistakes, but there were none that would make him think any less of me. And I know he was proud of me.
I miss the smell of his skin. I miss the quirky smile when he was being "Smart". I miss the way he was with my children and grandchildren. He only knew 5 of them...and Ashton was the youngest and only about 3 mths old when he passed. He would have enjoyed my grandchildren. As they grow, I can see the things in them that would have given him joy. My youngest Grandson Brody, looks exactly like him. I know that he watches over them and helps to keep them safe.
Dad I miss you and I love you still. I know that you are watching over me...
Hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving. Do not forget the things you are Thankfull for. Do not forget that when at the end of the Day...Your family is what is important. If you have Family and you take care of each other...You are rich in love...and that is all that matters...
