As you get older and wiser, you begin to realize that all those life lessons have actually taught you something. One of the things that I have learned is that I was way too judgmental in my younger years. When the kids were growing up, I thought that I knew it all and there was no other way than my way. Most things that I thought was just one way, I learned from other adults in my life. My parents, my pastor, my teachers...Everything was either black or white. There was no room for any gray areas.
Growing up is not an easy as we think. It takes lots of life lessons. As I said before it is a work in progress and I don't know that we ever completely there. I thought I had finally gotten over being judgmental. I am more open minded. I can see both sides of almost any argument to the point I seem wishy washy. I just knew I had this...when I dropped the ball and made a complete fool of myself.
When they announced the new judges of American Idol I became so upset. I ranted on and on about Nicki Minaj. I had absolutely no idea of what I was talking about. I was judging her on the way she looked and what I felt she must be like. I saw her on an awards show looking like a giant Barbie Doll who couldn't even stand up on her own because of her shoes. I heard gossip and the paparazzi junk...and I don't even remember what it was except is was negative. I got on my soap box and no one was going to tell me any different because by golly "I know" she is just what????? I don't even know what I thought, because I was too busy KNOWING...
After watching American Idol the other night, I realized that once again, I was that person..That judged someone that I didn't know to the point that I sounded pathetic. I realized that I had been very stupid and showed my "Ass" in a very unbecoming way. I am not sure I like her or respect her yet, but I didn't even give her a chance.
I was prepared to come to class the next day and make a confession. Before I was allowed to do that, a person that I call a friend let me have it. It seems that not only had I made a complete fool of myself, I had let my friend down. When I got finished being a know it all "Witch" with a B, I had given her reason to think less of me. I deserved that and even more. I hope that she doesn't let that define me. Hopefully she will realize that I am human and make mistakes but I am still worth it.
Looking at this one incident, I know this is a ugly truth about me. I am way too judgmental. I have come a long way, but not near far enough. Working on this will be a priority this year.