Monday, December 3, 2012

Time for Some Christmas Love Again

Here it is Dec 2. Just 23 more days until Christmas. This is definitely my favorite time of the year. I just wish I could somehow figure out how to slow it down. It seems we are so busy living life, working, taking care of children, or going to school. We have a busy regular life and then we have to  squeeze in so much Christmas in 25 days. Is it any wonder why we try so hard to begin earlier and earlier each year?

For the retailers, we know that they are trying to squeeze every last dime from us to make all their numbers come out in black and staying out of the red. Christmas trees in stores in September before Halloween decorations, they do have an agenda. Have you ever noticed how they begin to play reruns of Christmas movies in the heat of summer? Hmmm...I don't think it is an accident. They play on all those warm and fuzzy feelings that we all get this time of the year.

That is just it...we all play right into that. It is such a magical time of the year, full of love and good will...we crave it.. we all want it. It is magical and it does bring out the best in almost everyone. Of course I know that it isn't wonderful for every one. There are still the lonely and homeless. Those that are sick and dying. People without family that love them. Children that still go to bed hungry. But the fact is everyone wants to make a difference. Just like the Grinch found out..Christmas comes no matter what. We all want a part of making it happen..It makes our heart grow so many sizes...just like the Grinch's did.

Everyone wants to reach out and help. People say "excuse me","Thank You", and "Please".  You see people reaching deeper into their pockets to help their neighbors and even strangers. This is the one time of the year that people give of themselves with no other thought but to help.  And it makes us feel so good. There is no other time of the year that people are more generous and giving. I just wish that we could keep Christmas in our hearts a little longer.

I know that God gave us his son on that first Christmas so many many years ago. Jesus was the ultimate gift. I can only imagine God's warm and fuzzy feelings for giving such a perfect gift. This is the reason for the season. And even when we get caught up in the commercialism of it all... I honestly believe that most every person knows that giving is better than receiving. The gift of giving is one that God has passed down to us. Learning to stretch that feeling throughout the year, would be a gift into itself.

So once again this year I will be trying to enjoy all 25 days.  I want to feel Christmas every day of the month. It seems I am not very good at it, because it is always over way too soon..But I will try. :)


 





Friday, October 26, 2012

Cons of Being a Member of The Big Foot Family

Yesterday I went shopping for shoes. I know that I tried at least 20 pairs. After putting on everything from heels to tennis shoes, I learned something I didn't know. My left foot is bigger than my right! This would probably not be such a big deal if my feet were a size 10 or below. You ask Why? I know you can't wait for the answer. For some reason, if you are a woman, they do not make half sizes in shoes over size 10. Does your feet ever stop growing? I am worried since I heard that they DO NOT.

I come from a family of Big Foots. My mother said that her Daddy always said she had a lot of "Under Standing". Well I could do with a little less. My Dad's foot wasn't that big. He was over 6 ft tall and had a 10 1/2 shoe. And although my Mom always thought she had a big foot in size 10, she doesn't hold a candle to my daughter. She wears a size 13. You probably didn't know they made size 13 shoes for women. Well the fact of the matter, they don't make very many.  Until recently, you couldn't get shoes over a size 10 at any of the department stores. Now you can get size 11 at Walmart and Target, but not all shoes there come in size 11. If you wear 11 1/2 forget about it. Payless Shoes have been selling size 12 for sometime and recently began selling size 13. Not very many styles and of course no half sizes for these bigger shoes. 

Yesterday, I found some really cute heels at Payless. I tried on a size 11 on my right foot. I walked around trying to convince myself that it was just a little snug, and since the size 12 would not stay on my foot at all, I really had no choice. So I tried on the left one. Well guess what...Nope, It really squeezed my foot and guess what...the size 12 was still too big on it. Can you see I am frustrated? I usually have to buy men's athletic shoes which make my feet look like boats... Well you could probably argue that my feet always look like boats. Well let's just say this. Regular women shoes make my feet look like a row boat...Men's athletic shoes...NOAH'S ARK!!!

Do you think I am all alone in the quest for affordable fashionable shoes that will fit members of the Big Foot Family? Do you know know that once I googled Transvestite shoes. And yes, you can find some very large shoes. Still don't think that they come in half sizes.

I finally found a pair of plaid canvas shoes at Target in size 11 that I can squeeze into. Then at Walmart I bought a pair of black women's size 11 Dr. Scholl's shoes that are very light weight and stretch just a little. I think I can make them work for me...with out too much pain.  I wore them today and am thinking very seriously about buying a white pair as well. I haven't given up on the heels that I tried on at Payless. I will just go to another store and buy them in a size 12...and try to keep them on my feet. Maybe some Velcro will do the trick.

I haven't completely given up on the idea of finding some Vampire Venom. Hey, if it can get rid of a few wrinkles and help my arthritic joints, I am sure it can help my Big Foot Syndrome as well.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Celebrating Megan

Today we will celebrate Megan's life. It was a short life filled with many challenges. I was blessed that she touched my life these past 3 years. This goes along with the saying that people come in and out of your life for a purpose, a reason. Finding the reason and enjoying the blessings is the secret to God's plan.

Last Friday, the strings that held Megan to this world were cut.The strings fell away and with them all the pain, all the uncertainties, everything that held her back these past 16 years. When God presented her with her wings, the mountains were not too high and the impossible became possible. Her legs are straight and strong. Her eyes can see every color of the rainbow. Her ears can hear every whisper that the butterfly's wings make. Her voice rings out strong and loud as she sings with the angels.

Although the strings that bound her here to this earth are gone, the strings that hold her in our hearts are as strong as ever. These strings made of gold holds her here in our hearts forever. She will never be forgotten. Our hearts will be filled with love and sorrow that she is no longer here with us. Of course we know that she now she flies with the Angels, however there is that selfish part of us that will never understand why she had to leave this earth so soon.

I would say Rest in Peace Megan, but I cannot imagine that you will be resting. I see you running, laughing, and enjoying the perfection that God has granted you now. 


Tuesday, October 2, 2012

This is a repost in honor of Ryan David Kenneth Mathis. His birthday is tomorrow and I am so proud of him. He has come a long way. He has come a long way in the past year. The original post was written when Ryan was 10 years old.  He will be 12 tomorrow. There are times I cannot believe he is so young. I hope that every can see what a special, wonderful young man. He is getting much better with reading emotion and responding appropriately. This is his last year at the grade school and I look so forward to being there when he starts Junior High.

Ryan David Kenneth Mathis was born on October 3, 2000. The most beautiful baby boy. He was my 3rd grandchild, 2nd grandson and my son's first baby. We were on cloud nine. He seemed to be perfect, but Wendy had a feeling something was wrong. He talked sort of early, but even as an infant, he didn't really like to be cuddled and held. He wanted down. And as soon as he could walk, my goodness, we almost wished it was legal to tie him up. Just joking. But he was so busy. And still Wendy, his mom, thought there was something that wasn't right. Oh we told her he was just an independent baby. He stopped talking about the age of 1, but he was on the go. He could climb, he could instant message on the computer. He didn't know how to spell the words, but he definitely had the concept down. But before the time he was 3 we knew there was something different about Ryan. She had him evaluated by a program here in Oklahoma called Sooner Start. And they agreed. Although he didn't have a dx, they gave him a learning disability and when he was 3 years old, he started school.

Wendy did all the research she could on the Internet. She talked to his doctors and teachers, but they still acted like he would grow out of what ever was going on. Now he had a baby brother before he was two. His name is Noah. Noah was talking to us using words like Mama,Daddy, cup,bottle and ball. And then when he was about 6 months, he stopped. They had some things in common, but they were as different as day and night. Noah had to bounce and swing. He would climb and run. Ryan needed things quite. He had to be still. Noises had to be low. He cried and cried when we made him play out in my back yard, because when the train would go by blowing the horn, he acted terrified. I was seeing a counselor about this time dealing with depression. Of course I talked about my grandchildren non stop. One day he suggested that I read the book."The Out of Sync Child" by Carol Stock Kranowitz. The lights came on. We were dealing with Sensory Integration. The book described Ryan and Noah to the T. 

Wendy finally had a starting point. Reading this book, she had something tangible that she could use to describe her boys. She was given a referral to the Oklahoma Child Study Center by the boys physician. Both of the boys were evaluated and they got their diagnosis. Autism...Both boys on the spectrum.We have since learned that the spectrum is huge. There are so many symptoms and no two people have all the same ones. I describe it as the Autism Store where all the symptoms are on a shelf, and you go in and choose as many as you want.

I am talking about Ryan today. Awesome boy. Of course I am the grandma, what else will I say?  He looks at life so literally. To him the world is Black and White. He does not see the gray side. He will say exactly what he sees. If you are fat, he will tell you. He isn't trying to hurt your feelings, he has trouble figuring out why exactly that would hurt your feelings. To him there is only one definition of most words. Hot means just the opposite of Cold. Sometimes this can be so funny. But of course it isn't. If you have ever seen "The Temple Grandin Story"  you will understand how he sees things. Now I can imagine how he sees life. When he was first evaluated they told us that he was short a couple of symptoms that would give him a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome. If he doesn't have Asperger's, then he certainly has most of the symptoms. 


He is so precious and easy to love. And even though he has trouble recognizing facial expressions and body language, he has no trouble expressing his love for his family. His heart is huge. Appropriate responses to some situations is one of the aspects of his life he has trouble with. Again Temple Grandin was able to tell the story so well. Using visual cues, her family taught her how to better read people's expressions. Her professor at school never gave up on her and encouraged her to get an education. He believed she could and she took that encouragement and made herself. I know that Ryan will be able to do the same. 


He is in the fourth grade this year. It has not been the easiest for him. While he is at his grade level and excels in most areas, he has trouble staying on task. He has an aide that helps him with this. Mainstreamed in some of his classes with peers that are "normal" he still has classes in the resource room.  I am so proud of him and cannot wait to see what he accomplishes. 


In third grade last year, he entered a contest that was state wide. It could be a poem, story or art project. He wrote an essay about the ocean. This was his favorite place to be. Describing everything from the sun and wind in his face to tasting the salt in the air. Sounds impressive...Right? Especially since he has never seen the ocean. His was selected by the PTA at his school first as the winner of the 3rd grade and then he was chosen to represent his entire school at the next level of the contest.  I think he just may be a writer, and doesn't even know it yet. In 2nd grade, he wrote for me, three comic books complete with illustrations. 3 stories of Captain Underpants.


When he was only 3 years old, he had 2 brothers. Noah was born when he was 16 months old, and Ashton was born when he was 2 years and 10 months old. Wendy had her hands full.  Lloyd worked all the time as the GM of a Taco Bell. And one evening while he was at work, Wendy was bringing laundry from the garage into the kitchen. She fell and was sitting on the floor almost in tears of frustration and asked Ryan to help her.  Ryan got the telephone and called 911 and brought it to her. He said "Mom, I got you some help". 


He has been helping her ever since. Now there are 5 of them. He has a brother named Brody that is normal. He shows no signs of Autism. A baby sister, Lilly, was born in August 2009. She also shows no signs of Autism. Ryan takes on the responsibility of Big Brother and is a big help to Mom and Dad. 


He loves birds and snakes. Bird watching in my back yard is one of his favorite things to do. He doesn't have much interest in fiction books. In fact he and Billy Michael had a disagreement the other day about the Hump Back Whale. He insisted that the Hump Back Whale has 2 blow holes. Billy Michael was not having it. Wendy told Ryan to just let it go. He whispered to her, "It is because he doesn't read non fiction books".


He loves to watch wrestling with his Dad and has already chosen a name for when he joins the circuit. He puts his clothes on backwards and wrong side out. I tell him that it is okay. His grandma, Me, use to do the same thing. Hence my nickname, Doodle Bug. He thinks that is funny. 


He is a typical 10 year old with the same hopes and dreams as other kids his age. Life to him may look a little different, but he is not oblivious to that. He realizes he has Autism. He is trying to figure out exactly which parts of his life are colored by it and which parts are not. God couldn't have chosen a more perfect mom and dad for him. He and Billy Michael have many conversations about their Autism. Between the two of them, they have come up with solutions and conclusions all on their own. Right now, this is enough.

Once again I speak of Awareness. While we can talk night and day now about Autism, it took us a long time to get here. There is so much out there, but people have got to know that when they hear the word Autism, it is not Rain Man. While Rain Man certainly had Autism, he was also a Savant. This is not typical. 
These children do tend to find one subject that interest them and they will teach you everything you wanted to know and everything you didn't about the subject. It just isn't common for them to be a savant.

We need to educate people about early intervention. While the State of Oklahoma has a very good program in Sooner Start, the earliest that children can be placed into school programs is 3 years of age. It is important that we get to them sooner. The ideal time for intervention is 18 to 36 months. Having said that, they will come into your home and work with your children.

I will leave on this note. Be aware of the children in your life. Know the symptoms. If there is a child you are concerned with, talk with the parents. Encourage them to call and set up an evaluation. There is no harm in having a child evaluated. Early intervention is so important.


 

Monday, September 24, 2012

Angels


I have written about my job before. I am so fortunate that I found it and I feel so guilty calling it a "Job". I think that I would pay them to let me hang out there all day. There is no way to express how it has changed my heart. Who knew that loving children that didn't belong to me would be so easy and satisfying. I am absolutely certain of one thing. God blessed my life by putting these Angels in my world.

 I love my children and grandchildren, but my students at school are on another level. I don't love them any more than my own, but they certainly have that part of my heart I never knew existed.  We have 4 autistic grandsons that span the spectrum. When I see the challenges facing these precious children in my classroom, I know that we could be facing worse.

Right now, the challenge is to say goodbye to Megan. I am not ready to say goodbye. It doesn't feel like I have had enough time with her. I know that when God gets ready to bring us home, it is His choice. Wanda and I talked about how she would be perfect in Heaven. And I said that she was already perfect, but that she would be able to walk, talk and run. There would be no more pain and suffering. After taking care of her baby for 16 years,Wanda was worried about who would take care of her there. Of course she answered that question...God will.

For the past 16 years, she has been an angel here on earth. Her smile is beautiful and lights up the room. Her sky blue eyes sparkle when she laughs. She throws her colors and blocks across the room.
Her laughter for pulling such a stunt is contagious. Of course when we scold her for throwing those toys, she rolls her eyes at us.  I love to hold her soft hands. I always imagine cuddling up and watching movies with her. Her mom said she loves to cuddle. In our 5th hour, we play music. It doesn't matter what it is, she has a great time. She lights up, claps her hands and throws her head back and laughs.

The doctors have now said that they have done all they can. She is such a fighter, you just can't imagine her giving up. I don't think she actually gave up, but her heart just can't keep up anymore. So now it is God's turn to decide when to call her home.  I know that God is choosing a pair of Angel Wings and that nothing but perfect will be good enough.

So whenever he sends her wings and calls her home, we will lose a part of something wonderful. A piece of my heart will be broken. I don't know how to say goodbye. I don't know how to comfort her mom and dad, I don't know how, I just don't know how. I know that prayer will make it better, and I know that we will have plenty of those. My prayer for Ron and Wanda is that God gives them the strength to go on from here. I pray that he helps them understand how taking Megan from our lives is the best thing. I know they will not see it now. I cannot imagine it ever making any sense.

Megan, when God finds the perfect pair of Angel Wings, he will lift you in air and set you free. You will always be with us. We will see your smile in the face of a stranger. We will hear your voice in the wind. When we least expect it, we will feel your butterfly kisses on our cheeks. And although your heart will be silent, we will hear it. These memories you have given us are precious.

Thank you Wanda and Ron for sharing your beautiful Megan with me. She will have a special place in my heart that I will never let go.



Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Hello, My Name is Cindy and I am an Addict: CANDY CORN




It is that time of the year that we look forward to, Autumn. The season changing and all that comes with it. The colors changing from bright yellows and greens to brunt orange, reds and browns. The days are getting shorter, nights are getting longer. Temperatures are finally coming down and you might need a jacket in the mornings. The stores are getting ready and you will find Halloween decorations and the Candy. With all of the signals that fall is here, comes that little voice in my head "Where is the Candy Corn? Where are those little pumpkins?" Which translates into "WHERE'S the SUGAR?" For an addict like me, this is bad...really bad.

By the end of  August, I have finally gotten rid of all those extra pounds that I put on every winter. And this year was no different. I actually took off more than that. I had been working hard at it all summer long. Then one day I am at the grocery store, minding my own business, just buying the groceries that I needed. I looked up and there it was. CANDY CORN... I picked up the bag. I put it back. I picked it up again and placed it to my nose and took in a deep breath smelling all that sugar.  I close my eyes and my mouth started watering. I quickly threw the bag back on the shelf. I walked away. Nope, I am not buying any of that this year. I am not falling back into that trap again. It wasn't easy, but I did it. I was so proud of myself. I can do it this year. I can do it, I can do it. I sounded just like that little steam engine that thought he could.  I kept telling my self that I could do it and I would do it.

I made it through the weekend and longer. We were off work for Labor Day holiday and when we returned to school on that Wednesday, our teacher was so proud. She had been shopping and she brought a present to school. She filled the candy bowl with Mini Chocolate bars. Okay, I can handle this. I can eat chocolate bars in moderation. I can see them in the dish and walk away. I don't need them. Oh but that wasn't all. She had a wonderful surprise for me. It was a bag of Candy Corn. I am like an addict with Candy Corn. I cannot eat it in moderation. I will eat it a handful at a time until it is all gone. I am shameless when it comes to Candy Corn. I tried to eat it slowly. I tried not to eat it with both hands. At the end of the week, I had finally eaten it all. I need meetings.

When I went to the grocery store, I bought a bag of the candy corn, and a bag of the pumpkins. I am pretty sure it is a food group of it's own. At Crest, the Halloween Candy is on the same side of the store as the fresh vegetables and fruits. The pumpkins are orange and green. Isn't this a sign that they are full of oxidants and vitamins. Hmmmm. Well probably not, but a girl can dream.

This is not the end, as my "Friend" bought me a bag on Saturday and dropped them off at my house. I can see that this is going to be a real problem. Well the bag I got on Saturday was Green Apple flavored and they were Green. Doesn't that mean they are full of Vitamin A?

I can see that I have a problem and yes I need meetings. That 20 lbs that I lost last year, may not stay away. You see, that the candy corn is not the only problem. A sugar addict I am. The season starts off with Candy Corn... This leads into Thanksgiving and all those pies we make and eat. Right after that, is the candy for Christmas. And of course the cookies and all the parties that we attend. I always try and use the good stuff to cook with, but sometimes that is impossible.

We do stay pretty active through all of this, so that the pounds just inch up. But you know that after Christmas and the holidays, the weather is bad and it is too cold to get out to walk or exercise so we hibernate in the house with our blankets and comfort foods. And then the pounds go from inching to piling up... And then we have Valentines Day. You do know that they make special Candy Corn for that holiday now also. I just can't win. I may have to go into an inpatient rehab center to break this cycle.  After Easter, we start looking for our summer wardrobe. This is bad, really bad. I do not want to do this again this year, But.........Hello, My Name is Cindy and I am an addict! 




A Serious Note:  I just want you to know that I take addiction seriously. I have seen it first hand and I know the devastation that it causes to people who suffer as well as their family's. I want you to know that this is just me being silly and that I would never make fun of or pretend that it is any way a laughing matter. I hope that you read this with the spirit that it is meant to be.

I would love to hear any comments from anyone that takes the time to read them. I always tease that I am a writer wanna be. Share your thoughts good or bad..just be kind and remember to keep it clean.

Friday, September 14, 2012

What a great show..Thank you TRAIN

I haven't seen that many concerts, but I have seen good ones, bad ones and some GREAT ones. Tonight we went to the "OKC Zoo Amphitheater" and stood in the rain to see "TRAIN". This is one of the very best shows I have been to.

When you buy a ticket to see a concert, you never know. I mean you have an expectation, but you never know. One person I saw in concert back in the day when he was very popular gave the worst concert I have ever seen. To say I was disappointed is a huge understatement. I think it rates up there with finding out that Santa Clause isn't a real person. He acted like he didn't even know where he was or even care. It would have been better if he had just called in sick.

But tonight, in the rain, Pat and his crew put on the best show. He made it feel like he was the privileged one. He made us feel as if There was no other place in the world he wanted to be but here in the rain, performing for us. He got off of the stage and got wet with us. He took video of the audience watching him. He took phones from people in the audience and took pictures of himself. He took pictures of himself with the owners of the phone. As the audience reacts and responds to his concert, he watches. At the end, he pulls 2 kids(12 or 13) up on stage and gives them a guitar that is signed by the band. He does this at every concert.

So to you, Pat and your band, thank you for a wonderful evening. And thank your appreciating us like you thought our TIME meant something to you.

If you ever have a chance to see their concert... Jump on it. You won't be disappointed, even if you have to sit in the rain...and you don't get a t shirt, or get on stage or get a soccer ball.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Neil Armstrong: Thank You for Dreaming Big Enough


 If you are a Baby Boomer, you know where you were the day Neil Armstrong took that first step on the moon. He was a hero to our generation. I don't think that kids today can appreciate what those astronauts really did. When they said "The Right Stuff"... We knew exactly what that meant. The combination of Discipline, Hard Work, and Guts..this is "The Right Stuff".

My grandmother was born in 1899. When she moved to Oklahoma from Arkansas with her family, she was only 2. They came here in a wagon and a big part of the miles were made on foot. There wasn't a telephone and electricity was only in the homes of the very rich. Air Planes were invented in 1903. In 1962 the first man to orbit the earth in a space ship was John Glen.NASA continued to explore space  In 1988 when she died, We returned to space in Discovery after a 2 year hiatus that was necessary after the Challenger disaster. My mother was born in 1939 and she didn't have electricity or even indoor plumbing. In the year 1957 I was born. This was during the baby boom. Televisions were becoming more popular.  In 1964 my baby brother was born and we got our first color television.  After they landed on the moon the first time, it became the new normal. My generation was taught  anything was possible. If you could imagine it, you could make it happen.

The television I watched Neil and Buzz make history on, was a small black and white with rabbit ears. We had foil on the tips of the antenna. I am sure that even on that day, we were standing moving them to help get a better picture. On that day in July, we held our breaths and watched. All the young boys and men and most women, wishing that we were with him as he took his step

Rest in Peace Neil Armstrong. You have been to where most men only dream. You and your crew were brave enough to bring to us more than just a few photos and moon rocks. You brought us possibilities and  hope that our future depends on not only what we know, but what we can dream. I hope our children learn that all of the things that they take for granted every day had a price. A dream cannot be realized by just wishing for it.  It takes your heart, soul and all of it together "The Right Stuff".

 

Monday, August 20, 2012

Teen Drinking A REPOST

With it being Back To School Week, I was thinking about all my kids moving on to High School. I just think that this is worth saying again.


 Today I was thinking that I had to find something else to write about. I didn't have anything interesting to say. And then all of a sudden I started commenting on one of my girl's Face Book Post, and I realized I needed more room. Thank you Sabrina.

She posted this " Teen Drinking is Very Bad , YO I have a fake id though"  Of course I couldn't leave this one alone. I love her way too much to keep my mouth shut. So Sabrina, this is for you and all of my other kids that have come through my life these past few years. Keep in mind that even though I am of a more interesting age, I started out just like you and I have made my own bad choices.  For me, I was very lucky that the consequences of my bad choices did not cost me what they could have.

This statement is so true, Teen Drinking is Very Bad. But do you know why?  I mean I could go on and on about all the bad things that could happen to you. All the consequences of the actions that it could lead to. And I could just tell you how stupid you are for doing it.

I am not even going to pretend that I know if you do or don't...if you have tried or not...because I don't. Just for fun, I am going to pretend that I do know and you have made the choice to drink at some of these parties that I keep hearing about. This is sort of the scenario I imagine is happening. And this is the story I am telling of you and your friends.

You are out with your friends and although you never have before, tonight your boyfriend made you really angry because he was making eyes at another girl and you found her text on his phone.
You get to the party and everyone is having fun. Some one asks you if you want a drink...maybe they are playing a drinking game and you say no at first, but you are mad at your boyfriend....so you think that it will be okay if you just have one. After all you are tired of always being the "goodie two shoes". And because you have never done this before, 1 glass of  "punch" makes you giggle and laugh like nothing else. And everything is so funny...Why not have another? By this time, you are really having a great time...everyone is laughing with you or AT YOU...but you didn't notice that......It had gotten very warm and maybe you .....take off that long sleeve t-shirt that you are wearing over a tank....And that really cute bad boy is paying attention to you....

Who are you at the party with? Are they drinking to???While you are losing control, who are you trusting to keep you out of trouble. Because right now girls...guess what...you are no longer in control of what is happening to you. How does that feel? Oh right, you don't know how that feels, because you can't even feel your lips right now...and you are still having fun...I am not going to lie to you and try and tell you that it feels bad...because right now it doesn't...Not yet.... And that really cute bad boy is probably kissing you on the neck and laughing and encouraging you to have another glass of "punch"...And your really getting warm now...and you might take off that tank...and all of the "friends" there are encouraging you to do just that. Especially that really cute bad boy...NOW, Who has your back...because now you have lost your control completely. You have numbed out the person you are and now there is no one standing in your way to "fun"...Or A really bad CHOICE...For instance... Who Drove you there? and how are you going to get home... Oh, maybe it is that really cute bad boy...because by now he is in "LOVE" with you...There are many scenarios that can happen now...and guess what...It doesn't really matter which one I write about, because you have lost control and it isn't up to you anymore. Who has your back? hmmm Well since this is my pretend story, your best friend that you came with only drank 2 glasses of "punch" but it was her first time also...So she is going to drive you home. But you are not ready to go home yet and so she decides to leave you here. She takes your other best friend home with her...He has had twice as much to drink and is throwing up and someone throws him in the car. He didn't have control over that either, because he was passed out. His choice and control was gone. ...Remember that really cute bad boy...well he promised to have your back because now your drinking your 3rd glass of "punch" and he really "LOVES" you now.... And by now you are getting so warm, and can't really stand up, so this really cute bad boy takes you inside where you can lie down until you feel better. Oh don't forget your warm, so he helps you take off some more of your clothes. By now you also "LOVE" him and well I think you know what comes next. Is this your first time? Well if he didn't use a condom, you won't get pregnant will you...because it is only your first time....HAHAHAHA....WRONG...hmmmm But you have no say so right now because you trusted some one else to have your back and gave away your control.... Well let's hope this is the end of this...This really cute bad boy never used a condom in his life and let's just say this isn't his 1st or even his 20th time..He is that really really cute sexy bad boy...Wonder what disease he might have..OH right you gave up all control, so you can't even ask the question or demand that he wear a condom or even have control enough to say NO! So you end the night puking up your guts and then you WAKE up with a STRANGER....So you get up wondering what happened, because you can't remember....WHAT? where is your friends... So you get up look in the mirror at the person you don't even know, because...For the past 12 hours, you have no idea what that person in the mirror has been doing. You can't  even find your phone, and what about your friends and your parents.... OH GOD...I am going to die...NO you won't, you might wish you were dead...but you won't die over this....Unless that really cute bad boy STRANGER has a disease... Where are your friends? Well since this is my party..so to speak ...let me tell you what happened.. Your best friend who only had 2 glasses of "punch", well she drove herself home...And your other friend well remember, he got sick and passed out and they threw him in her car....Well they were driving home and She didn't stop at the stop sign because she was changing the music on the radio so she could party on the way home, and she hit a truck and well, the good news, she is in the hospital, with a broken leg and arm...the bad news, your other friend was laying in the seat without a seat belt. He went through the windshield and another car hit him and he is in the morgue....As for you...you could have HIV, Hep C or just be pregnant at 16. You go ahead and choose...because I doubt you are going to worry about any of that until you bury your friend.  And the one that is in the hospital...she may have to serve some time in jail...of course everyday for the rest of her life she will live with the fact that she killed her friend. I don't how you see this story ending..of course, I could have gotten it all wrong, you got drunk for the first time, started throwing up and your parents were called. All three of you got home safely and the worst that happened was a huge hangover and maybe being grounded for the rest of your life...or maybe a month...I know that you are all just kids...well I guess I should say YOUNG..I read on Face Book just the other day that being Young is not an excuse to be an idiot...hmmmm... I am not trying to scare you. You have to decide what choices you make. But when you are drinking, you cannot make good choices.

Who will you trust enough to be in control of your life when you are not? When you choose to drink or do drugs, you are trusting the alcohol or drug to be in control for you. Whether you think it is okay to drink or not, Do you really want to relinquish the control you have and let someone or something else make the choices when You will be the one to suffer the consequences. Are you willing to let someone else play Russian Roulette with your life? Because that is what you are doing. I love you all and just want you to have all your hopes and dreams come true. Right now, you haven't even lived long enough to know what all your dreams are going to be. Someday you will find someone to share your life with and you will have children and then you will have new dreams...so please don't let bad choices take away all that can be or might be. I want to share with you something I wrote for Anna on her 13th birthday. This is what I hope for all the kids that come through my life.

"You hope that every choice she makes will be the perfect one. You know that the odds are against that. So you hope that the bad choices she makes will have just enough consequences. ..just enough to affect her life in a positive way. Just enough to give her the wisdom to NOT make them again."












Thursday, August 2, 2012

Twilight Fantasy: Kirsten Stewart, Tom and Katie, Princess Di are Real Life


Actually this isn't a post so much about Twilight as it is about the people in Hollywood. With the break up of Tom and Katie and the leaked indiscretion of Kristen Stewart and all the other lives of our favorite actors, actresses, singers, and ect. It is getting on my last good nerve.

 Some people think that it is our "Right" to know everything about them. That somehow they OWE it to us..that their entire lives should somehow be an open book. But their lives are full of family and friends and all the things that make life LIFE. For them, their private lives are almost an open book. And all the magazines and news programs really make it their business to know everything about them...just to sell more news and magazines. No one should be on "the Job" 24 hours/7 days a week...but it seems they can't go outside and have an ice cream cone, or tie their shoe without someone snapping a picture.  And of course if they don't cooperate with all this press stuff, the Paparazzi will just make it up. Well some of them do that anyway. 

Tom and Katie..like them...love them...or hate them...or just plain don't care...Well there is a little girl that is only 6 years old and all she knows, is her world is upside down. And no matter how normal they try to make it for her...Well the normal part is...Her Mommy and Daddy don't live together anymore..and at least one of them is really sad. All of the money in the world is not going to make that go away. And people sit with cameras like vultures just to get a glimpse of one of these individuals...They snap a picture of every smile, tear, gesture that they make. They make up stories of what each movement made means. And while you may be able to keep this baby away from the so called truth, one day she will be able to read it...and even if there isn't one bit of truth in it, it will hurt her...That is the real life that this baby girl will live. Even though both of the adults in this story are older, they still have hearts and they still hurt and they still should be able to go through this ordeal left alone. Telling the story if they want...or not if they don't.. If we have to know..this deep burning need to know everything...hanging on to every word and wanting to know...like it even really matters to us...please just give us the basic TRUTH... Not what you think will sell more papers, magazines or what ever.

Kristen Stewart never wanted anyone to know her personal life. We begged her to let us in. Just give us a yes or no. And she said it right...it doesn't matter what she says, it isn't enough. Now that we know, do we have a right to judge her. What ever happened with her and Rupert Sanders..what ever happened ...guess what? It is none of our business. We don't have the right to know. Leave them alone. If you have experienced any kind of life at all, you know that life hurts sometimes. Life and the lessons we learn, are not always pleasant.  Once again, there are children and families that are being torn apart. We don't have to know. The adults in this real life drama..they are hurting. Two of the individuals came forward and publicly apologized. Why should they have to go to the public and apologize for something that happened in private? It is nobody's business but theirs.

And it happens all the time. I know that in my life, there are bunches of stuff I wouldn't want everyone to know. Should we take out an Ad and publicly apologize because we are having problems in our marriage. If we have a fight, should we put a picture of it on the cover of the newspaper. When we make mistakes and fall down...When our family is hurting by the consequences of those mistakes...should our children have to read it in the paper.

Oh and all these sources close to the individuals that can't wait to tell what they know...They should get new friends..or family. I have a few close friends that I would confide in..but if they are going to spill all our beans, they wouldn't be my friend very long. And of course everyone wants to believe all these good friends of theirs. I am sorry, but I have absolutely no respect for these "Sources". I sure to heck don't believe them. I am just as curious as the next person, but we don't have to know. We will live even if we don't have every stinking detail.

Whatever happens and however it falls out on the other side, the people involved will have a hard road ahead. It will be relived over and over again in the news and in the magazines. Forgiveness is hard enough..And for them to move on together or apart..they will have to forgive...The endless questions they will have to answer. I expect I would react exactly the same way...run and hide. And sometimes running is very dangerous. I remember 2 young Princes... The press would not leave their mother alone. They chased her, wrote about her, made her cry ...until one day they chased her off the wall...and no one, not even the King's men...They couldn't put her together again.




Sunday, June 17, 2012

Father's Day

Another Father's Day is here and it reminds me how much I miss my Dad. I wish I had one more minute, hour, day, lifetime with my Dad. It wouldn't matter how much time I had, it would not be long enough. I miss him almost every day. My grandson has been talking about the "Circle Of Life" lately. I know that losing your parents is just one more part of that circle. But it is one that you don't want to face.

My dad was not always the "perfect" Dad. but he was mine. And I never questioned whether or not I was loved. If I needed anything, all I had to do was ask. He wasn't at every school program or ball game. He wasn't one of those Dads. I never even thought about it then. He was just my Dad and that is how he was.

A carpenter his whole life, you only had to tell him what you wanted, and he could build it. The smell of sawdust and sweat is the most perfect smell in the world.  His striped overhauls and pencil behind his ear, this is how I remember him as a child. Before measuring tapes came around, the wooden folded measuring tape was one of my favorite toys...Of course, I got in trouble for playing with that toy.
He built the house where we lived in Texas. After moving to Oklahoma in 1968, He built another home in 1973. Of course he had help and my mother was very capable and built the cabinets...together they built us a new home.  They bought a place at Eufaula Lake. After he retired, he made a drawing and began to rebuild our cabin. It began as a 1957 travel trailer with a room built on the front complete with a porch. When it was finished, he had enlarged it by building a regular roof over it and tearing it apart and rebuilding it from the inside out.  He had help, but the plan was his and all the trim work was his. Our little "trailer" became a very nice house.


One of my fondest memories of Dad was our fishing time. It began when we were little and he would take us fishing while visiting my Grandma. I was married and started having children when they bought the place on Eufaula Lake. While we were there, Dad got up very early and I would get up with him. If I wanted to have any quite fishing time, I had to do it before my kids woke up. Drinking coffee on the porch listening to the birds wake up was one of my favorite parts of the day. Dad would tell me the names of each one of the birds as they began their morning songs. We spent many mornings sitting on the rocks with our poles in the water waiting on the fish to bite. If we were "Jug Fishing" He would take me with him out in the boat to pick up and bait the jugs back out. Our mornings would usually prove productive and we would bring home several good sized catfish. Dad and I didn't talk much, but we enjoyed spending this quite time together.

Growing up, Dad was a grouchy man. About the time I started having my children, he began to mellow. I am not sure, but I think Grandchildren have a way of changing Grouchy Men. I sort of witnessed this strange phenomenon again when my husband and I had our first granddaughter. Ha. But that is another story.   This thing that happens when men become Grandpas showed a side of my Dad I didn't know existed. All of the things he wasn't when I was a child, he gave to my children. And when you thought you had seen everything, His grandchildren made him a Great Grandpa. It got even more unbelievable. During this period of our lives, he became ill. Between Grandchildren and fighting for his life, he became the most loving man I know. I always felt loved, but the gentle way he was after the grand kids, I never experienced as a child.

 He had been a drinking man, and right before he got sick, he gave up that part of his life. My daughter was sort of angry by this. She felt he had wasted so many years and then he got sick. I am sure he regretted all those years, but life is what it is. Life is filled with regrets and should haves and could haves.We begin to mold into a person the moment of birth. Choices, life lessons, consequences, people, mistakes, victories, failures all come together to make the person we become. And we never cease to evolve until we die.

Dad loved us each with his whole heart. He made choices he was proud of and choices he was ashamed of.  But the man he was, I was proud to call my Dad. His life taught us to be proud, to have faith, to love, and what it means to be a good person. Thank you, Daddy, for all you taught us. I miss you and think of you every day. Happy Father's Day.


Monday, April 30, 2012

Kids Learn the Darndest Things

If you have read my Blog, you know that I might be a wee bit obsessed with the Twilight World and District 12/Katniss,Peta,Gale. At my home, my daughter or daughter inlaw will come over and we will dissect the books, movies, and everything in between. Of course, we have only just seen Hunger Games, but the books have been discussed thoroughly.

When we get together to "Twilight" we might have one of the movies playing and the books open, rewinding and rereading a chapter...discussing how the movie missed the mark, and what they got right. I know, it isn't right. There is something seriously wrong with us. I know people who want me to go to meetings. My granddaughter Katie, who is 9, has been a part of many of these parties. We do censor some of the parts, especially in Breaking Dawn.

The past several months I have noticed that she gets on our family computer and  goes to YouTube. She brings up parts of Lion King. There are a few of the neighborhood boys that play with her. She invites (forces) them to sit there with her while she plays the different videos. She tells them what the animals names are and who they belong to and what they are doing and why they are doing it. I am amazed that they will actually sit there while she does this. The next morning while driving to work, I was reflecting on the previous evening when it hit me....She was "Twilighting " in her own way. She is dissecting all the aspects of the story. She is asking questions about why the characters are doing what they do. I just can't believe that she gets those boys to sit and watch and makes them participate. She should enjoy that power while she can.

I was discussing this with my daughter and she came to the same conclusion. Her brother who has autism, also ask questions while watching a movie. It is very hard to enjoy a movie when he is rattling questions off the entire time. She said that Katie thinks that is the way you are suppose to watch a movie.

I got a call from my Daughter inlaw and Lilly, another one of my granddaughters is now acting out the scenes of "Tangled". She also loves her Bella and Edward.  At 2 years old, I am happy that she would rather watch "Tangled".

I just hope that we have instilled in them the love of reading. I also appreciate the fact that Katie digs deeper into the thoughts and reasons behind the author's words.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Hunger Games vs Twilight

The one good thing about having a blog, when you get aggravated about a subject, you have a sounding board. I can rant and rave right here. My topic today is Hunger Games vs Twilight.  First of all, idiots that keep trying to compare them are really making me angry. It shows their ignorance and makes them appear stupid. If you are a critic and you don't like a book or movie, that is your prerogative. But when you are reviewing one entity why compare it to something you don't like.   So I am going to rant and rave here and try and get out my frustration.

First let's just review the similarities. This is a very short list.  The books are both fiction written for young adults by two different but amazing authors. The stories were so long that it took multiple books to tell them. The main character is a young girl and she has two young men that love her. The stories tell how the young girl goes on a journey and how she changes over the span of less than 2 years. They are both love stories, but within two completely different settings.  Both stories are depicted on screen in Hollywood. The lives of these actors have been drastically changed as the fans of the books and the press have lifted them to super star status. This is where it ends.

Twilight was chock full of supernatural, make believe, characters that could never exist except in our imagination. Vampires and werewolves were set in a world that we could only dream about. Not your scarey bloody full of horror monsters either. But a fantasy of the "bad guys" trying to be good. Bella falling in love with someone she shouldn't. The forbidden love. She gives up her world and life to be in Edwards. Not because she just fell in love, but because she feels she belongs there. And as for this fan of the books, sometimes the movies fell short of the mark, but the characters that came alive on the screen were perfect.  She went on a journey of discovering what she needed and wanted and what she could live with and without. All the odds were not in her favor and she had to escape death on several occasions. First the man made one where she was saved from being crushed by a van by Edward. Of course Edward had to deal with his family about what it could have cost him. She was saved from another vampire by Edward and his family. She was saved by yet another vampire by the Jacob and his werewolf brothers. She was saved from the mean and evil Victoria by the Cullens and Werewolves. And she was saved from death one more time after delivering her baby, Edward changed her into a vampire. So No these things cannot happen. This is just a story of forbidden love but in the end she gets everything she wants. Hello!!! A FAIRYTALE.....


The Hunger Games is set in a post apocalyptic world. Katniss is looking to save her family as well as herself. This is fiction, but it could happen. It has nothing to do with fairy tales or the supernatural. From the first page of this book, Katniss is trying to save her family. She volunteers to take her sister's place in the Games. Knowing that the odds are against her coming home. Either choice she had made, she is trying to save the lives of her family.  This young girl that is old beyond her years helps incite a revolution. It is far more reaching than that of a love triangle. This is not a choice of love, but of saving her family and the people she loves.  It is also a journey of finding out what she is capable of. Finding out what you would do and how far you would go.  And throughout the series of books, she suffers loss.  This is not a happy story full of magic and fairy tales.  In the end, she does finally get her Happy...but it is not without much pain and loss.


So when critics start acting like the real fans of both series, seriously would compare them it makes me so angry. "The Hunger Games" is such a serious subject. We know that.  The critics are using "The Hunger Games" to criticize "Twilight" yet again . That somehow comparing the two will make us believe that our Twilight world is less.  I know that this is a stupid Rant, but you know when you are a fan of something, you don't want someone making fun of it. I suppose when you look at how many books and tickets were sold, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. My opinion of the "Twilight" movies were not always favorable. I felt cheated that they left so much out. The last movie for the book fans, had to be the best. I have high hopes that "The Hunger Games" movie will hit the mark. Comparing the both of them, the actors they have chosen bring our characters to life.





Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Family Day

We spent this Sunday riding down to Mt. Scott in the Wichita Wildlife Refugee. We have been there before, but I think my grandchildren really enjoy it. Mike and Lloyd took the motorcycles and the kids took turns riding there. They had so much fun.

I am not sure what they enjoy the most. It seems that every time we go it is cool and WINDY... wow.. But we ended up with a great day. They even enjoy the visitor center. It seems that we see something new every time we go. This time the Buffalo and Long Horn Cattle were out and more visible.

Six of the grandchildren came with us. Two of the girls were missing. It never seems like we can get them all together. but with Anna being 15 going on 35...we don't see very much of her and our poor Katie girl broke her arm on Christmas Day and she didn't need to be climbing around on the rocks or riding the motorcycle. Of course if she had been there, we wouldn't be able to stop her. It is also a challenge when 4 of our boys are autistic. We never know when we plan an outing how it will end. When you try to cater to our kids, a melt down can make the day miserable...but on the other hand, when it all comes together, it is beautiful. We had one of those days on Sunday.

Noah is non verbal which means he doesn't use words. However his actions and the sounds he makes lets us know whether or not he is having a good day. He had a wonderful day. It was really awesome. As he gets older, you can see that he is learning more everyday on how to communicate with us. And the more he learns, the easier his life becomes and ours in turn....

He smiled all day long. This picture of him and his dad sitting on the top of the rocks, shows him completely relaxed. The sun reflecting in the sky, bouncing off the rocks seems to be showing Angel beams bouncing off his smile.  


Of course we had our Lilly Girl with us and she was telling us what to do all day long.Took her baby with us to the top...

Brody wouldn't ride on the motorcycle with Dad or Papa because neither wore their Overhauls. It seems that Brody doesn't feel safe unless he can use the straps to hold on to. He had a great time at the Visitor center.

Ashton was convinced that the top of Mt. Scott had dinosaur footprints in the rocks. He was measuring up to the "dinosaur track"

And then we have the two older boys..Cousins they are, but also best friends. Listening to their conversations can be enlightening to say the least. Both are high functioning Autistic. Now they are at the age that they really don't want people to know. I am so proud of what they accomplish everyday. We had some conversations on how those Texas Long Horns got to Oklahoma.

Here is a pic of Anna and Katie the ones we had to leave behind on Sunday. Although Katie did not want to miss it...well on the other hand, sometimes Anna just doesn't have time. I so understand..but sometimes I wish she could come and enjoy our outings. She just doesn't know how much we miss her.

Although my daughter and the two girls were missing, we had a great day. We are not always so lucky to have days like this. With our boys disabilities, it is hard to find activities that are fun and sensory friendly. This day, God blessed us with his love and the Angels were looking down on us.






Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Teen Drinking


 Today I was thinking that I had to find something else to write about. I didn't have anything interesting to say. And then all of a sudden I started commenting on one of my girl's Face Book Post, and I realized I needed more room. Thank you Sabrina.

She posted this " Teen Drinking is Very Bad , YO I have a fake id though"  Of course I couldn't leave this one alone. I love her way too much to keep my mouth shut. So Sabrina, this is for you and all of my other kids that have come through my life these past few years. Keep in mind that even though I am of a more interesting age, I started out just like you and I have made my own bad choices.  For me, I was very lucky that the consequences of my bad choices did not cost me what they could have.

This statement is so true, Teen Drinking is Very Bad. But do you know why?  I mean I could go on and on about all the bad things that could happen to you. All the consequences of the actions that it could lead to. And I could just tell you how stupid you are for doing it.

I am not even going to pretend that I know if you do or don't...if you have tried or not...because I don't. Just for fun, I am going to pretend that I do know and you have made the choice to drink at some of these parties that I keep hearing about. This is sort of the scenario I imagine is happening. And this is the story I am telling of you and your friends.

You are out with your friends and although you never have before, tonight your boyfriend made you really angry because he was making eyes at another girl and you found her text on his phone.
You get to the party and everyone is having fun. Some one asks you if you want a drink...maybe they are playing a drinking game and you say no at first, but you are mad at your boyfriend....so you think that it will be okay if you just have one. After all you are tired of always being the "goodie two shoes". And because you have never done this before, 1 glass of  "punch" makes you giggle and laugh like nothing else. And everything is so funny...Why not have another? By this time, you are really having a great time...everyone is laughing with you or AT YOU...but you didn't notice that......It had gotten very warm and maybe you .....take off that long sleeve t-shirt that you are wearing over a tank....And that really cute bad boy is paying attention to you....

Who are you at the party with? Are they drinking to???While you are losing control, who are you trusting to keep you out of trouble. Because right now girls...guess what...you are no longer in control of what is happening to you. How does that feel? Oh right, you don't know how that feels, because you can't even feel your lips right now...and you are still having fun...I am not going to lie to you and try and tell you that it feels bad...because right now it doesn't...Not yet.... And that really cute bad boy is probably kissing you on the neck and laughing and encouraging you to have another glass of "punch"...And your really getting warm now...and you might take off that tank...and all of the "friends" there are encouraging you to do just that. Especially that really cute bad boy...NOW, Who has your back...because now you have lost your control completely. You have numbed out the person you are and now there is no one standing in your way to "fun"...Or A really bad CHOICE...For instance... Who Drove you there? and how are you going to get home... Oh, maybe it is that really cute bad boy...because by now he is in "LOVE" with you...There are many scenarios that can happen now...and guess what...It doesn't really matter which one I write about, because you have lost control and it isn't up to you anymore. Who has your back? hmmm Well since this is my pretend story, your best friend that you came with only drank 2 glasses of "punch" but it was her first time also...So she is going to drive you home. But you are not ready to go home yet and so she decides to leave you here. She takes your other best friend home with her...He has had twice as much to drink and is throwing up and someone throws him in the car. He didn't have control over that either, because he was passed out. His choice and control was gone. ...Remember that really cute bad boy...well he promised to have your back because now your drinking your 3rd glass of "punch" and he really "LOVES" you now.... And by now you are getting so warm, and can't really stand up, so this really cute bad boy takes you inside where you can lie down until you feel better. Oh don't forget your warm, so he helps you take off some more of your clothes. By now you also "LOVE" him and well I think you know what comes next. Is this your first time? Well if he didn't use a condom, you won't get pregnant will you...because it is only your first time....HAHAHAHA....WRONG...hmmmm But you have no say so right now because you trusted some one else to have your back and gave away your control.... Well let's hope this is the end of this...This really cute bad boy never used a condom in his life and let's just say this isn't his 1st or even his 20th time..He is that really really cute sexy bad boy...Wonder what disease he might have..OH right you gave up all control, so you can't even ask the question or demand that he wear a condom or even have control enough to say NO! So you end the night puking up your guts and then you WAKE up with a STRANGER....So you get up wondering what happened, because you can't remember....WHAT? where is your friends... So you get up look in the mirror at the person you don't even know, because...For the past 12 hours, you have no idea what that person in the mirror has been doing. You can't  even find your phone, and what about your friends and your parents.... OH GOD...I am going to die...NO you won't, you might wish you were dead...but you won't die over this....Unless that really cute bad boy STRANGER has a disease... Where are your friends? Well since this is my party..so to speak ...let me tell you what happened.. Your best friend who only had 2 glasses of "punch", well she drove herself home...And your other friend well remember, he got sick and passed out and they threw him in her car....Well they were driving home and She didn't stop at the stop sign because she was changing the music on the radio so she could party on the way home, and she hit a truck and well, the good news, she is in the hospital, with a broken leg and arm...the bad news, your other friend was laying in the seat without a seat belt. He went through the windshield and another car hit him and he is in the morgue....As for you...you could have HIV, Hep C or just be pregnant at 16. You go ahead and choose...because I doubt you are going to worry about any of that until you bury your friend.  And the one that is in the hospital...she may have to serve some time in jail...of course everyday for the rest of her life she will live with the fact that she killed her friend. I don't how you see this story ending..of course, I could have gotten it all wrong, you got drunk for the first time, started throwing up and your parents were called. All three of you got home safely and the worst that happened was a huge hangover and maybe being grounded for the rest of your life...or maybe a month...I know that you are all just kids...well I guess I should say YOUNG..I read on Face Book just the other day that being Young is not an excuse to be an idiot...hmmmm... I am not trying to scare you. You have to decide what choices you make. But when you are drinking, you cannot make good choices.

Who will you trust enough to be in control of your life when you are not? When you choose to drink or do drugs, you are trusting the alcohol or drug to be in control for you. Whether you think it is okay to drink or not, Do you really want to relinquish the control you have and let someone or something else make the choices when You will be the one to suffer the consequences. Are you willing to let someone else play Russian Roulette with your life? Because that is what you are doing. I love you all and just want you to have all your hopes and dreams come true. Right now, you haven't even lived long enough to know what all your dreams are going to be. Someday you will find someone to share your life with and you will have children and then you will have new dreams...so please don't let bad choices take away all that can be or might be. I want to share with you something I wrote for Anna on her 13th birthday. This is what I hope for all the kids that come through my life.

"You hope that every choice she makes will be the perfect one. You know that the odds are against that. So you hope that the bad choices she makes will have just enough consequences. ..just enough to affect her life in a positive way. Just enough to give her the wisdom to NOT make them again."












Monday, January 9, 2012

My 100th Post

I was looking at my stats on my blog and realized I had 99 post. I can't remember writing 100 blogs, but I will go with this. They might be counting the ones I wrote for the mobile phone company as well. But just for fun, I am going with this is my 100th.

So what do you write about on such a memorable blog. Well, I think I will write about my one obsession of the past few years. The Twilight Saga. I know that it didn't really begin as a saga and for me, it almost didn't happen at all. A brief recount of how it all started for me. Twilight, my granddaughter who was in the 7th grade was reading it. Vampires? Yuck! All the kids in school were reading it, teachers were reading it. Well not me, I don't read about Vampires... And so the summer came and my friend brought me the first two books. She said "Read these, you won't believe how good they are. They aren't what you think they are." Well because I had pushed some of my favorite books on her, I had to at least try. I really didn't know anything about them. I had no idea that there was a movie out either. Was I living in a cave? The first book did start out a little slow and I struggled to make it through the first few chapters ....and then almost like I 'Imprinted' lol on this book. I was hooked. I could not wait to read the second. I was staying up all night reading. It had been a long time since that had happened. Then I read "New Moon". Oh my I cried through the whole book. I couldn't wait to read "Eclipse". And then I wouldn't read "Breaking Dawn" until I was sure that Edward wasn't leaving again. This all happened the summer between the time they filmed "New Moon" and "Eclipse". So if you didn't live in the Twilight world, you still didn't realize what a big deal it was. I read all 4 books before I watched the first movie. Really, I was able to read the books with a fresh unbiased mindset.

Now when I first saw "Twilight" I cried and complained and compared the the two. Book against movie. I was not satisfied with the movie...And yet I watched more than a few times. Waited not so patiently for the release of "New Moon"... And again, I complained and compared the Two...Book-Movie. Was not satisfied. I promise. If you  don't believe me, ask anyone who knows me. Then the same with "Eclipse"... They just didn't capture what I read and loved from the books....We had to wait over a year for "Breaking Dawn prt 1" to come out.

I haven't written about this yet. I loved it. Finally what we had waited for..it finally happened. The words in the book on the big Screen. Was it exactly the way it happened in the book. NO, but it was close enough there are no complaints. I have read the reviews, and I think the bad reviews came from the people who didn't read the books. Reading the books, you knew and got more meaning from this movie. If you didn't read the books and felt lost...well pick up the book and you will see what I mean.

I think that Stephenie Meyer being a co-producer, had a lot to do with the way the movie was written. The book is split into 3 parts. Bella's, Jacob's and then Bella's. Jacob's book was written in his POV. Most of this was in his head and speaking to the wolves with their Wolfy Mind Thingy....So showing this in the movie was hard, but I think they did a very good job with it. While they showed Jacob growing and his agony, they didn't show the humor. There was a lot of that in the book. Jacob dealing with the agony of loving Bella and hating the Cullens and Bella for what was happening. There was the way Jacob felt and dealt with Edward and Rosalie.  There was a new understanding for Carlisle, Esme and Alice.

In the book, the pack never showed up to destroy Bella or Renesme. There was not a fight. Leah leaving her pack and standing with Jacob even though she too hated the Cullens. The reason why they hated the Cullens. I just don't think the movie showed all of these elements.

However, those that read the books just once probably didn't get all of that out of them either. I did say obsession, Right? And we had our own little Book Club here....I couldn't suffer all this obsession alone, could I? No, my daughter and daughter in law also suffered with me. We have read and reread, and analyzed and watched the movies. We probably know more about the characters than Stephenie does. Well of course that is not true, but it could be. I would love for her to come and analyze them with us. She might learn something about her vampires...Just kidding.

Well I should have warned you all that this was going to be long. However I haven't written about my obsession in a very long time and didn't know that I was until my fingers started typing. The "Breaking Dawn Prt 1" DVD will be out on February 11, 2012. I can't wait to watch it over and over so I can complain and compare. Book and Movie..





Tuesday, January 3, 2012

REPEAT Life with Cindy: Things To Do Before I am 18 or Before I Die

I was reading this post and at the end, I found my resolution for 2011. Basically I was talking about not sabotaging my life with Self Fulfilling Prophecies. Well, I have to say that in 2011, I did some things I am proud of. I went back to work full time in a job I love. I took a test to be a HQ Para and I passed with 479 points out of 480. I am smarter than I thought. I took a class to finish the process. So I think I am on my way to NOT sabotaging my life with negative Self Fulfilling Prophecies, but with positive ones instead. I hope I have learned something this year and I hope that next year I will continue that path. So here it is one more time, my Bucket List...and by the way, I think I probably have a few more items to add..just not right now.
Life with Cindy: Things To Do Before I am 18 or Before I Die: My 14 year old Granddaughter posted this statement or question on Facebook. Well of course I answered it. It went something like this.... I ...

3rd Day of the Year

I promised myself that I would try and write on my Blog more often, a goal of no less than once a week. Hopefully in a good week I will write seven. But knowing me, I feel I should lean to the lesser side and hopefully it will be one promise I can keep.

Not knowing exactly what to write, I wrote the date. Now then thoughts started flowing on the year 2012. We have heard through the years different ideas and dates of the end of time. They always get a lot of  publicity and then never pan out, thank goodness. But if you believe what the Bible says about men not knowing when the end of time will be, you know that if someone is predicting it, it isn't happening.

From what I understand, the Mayans had several calendars. One of these ended on Dec 21, 2012. Now the Mayans didn't say that this was the last day of earth, however this calendar just ended. People that sell movies and books used some imagination to put together this idea. And being normal gullible folks, we want to believe the biggest and most epic scary things that people write.

But you know, just pretend that it is true. Would you live your life differently if you knew we only had 353 more days to live. What would you do? Would you change your lifestyle at all. Would you love more, laugh longer, dance like there is no tomorrow, all those things that make a song. I would like to say the answer is no, that this is the way I live my life. I would be lying. So for 2012, I think I will try this philosophy. It surely can't make my life any worse. I might find out some things about me I didn't know. Maybe I will get an idea for a book. That would be awesome.

I am going to think about this for a little while, and come back and share some of my thoughts on what changes I will be making. Share this idea with your friends. Maybe we will learn more about ourselves and find the importance of living life like it was our last day on earth.







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