Tuesday, February 12, 2013

ABDICATE

I was doing an exercise from "Creative Writing Excercises Workbook" by Marjorie J McDonald. In the book, Exercise 3, you find a dictionary and close your eyes, skim down, land on a word and use that word in your title or story. My fingers landed on the word Abdicate. This is the result of that exercise.  So more of my rambling tonight. I hope it doesn't bore you to tears.

ABDICATE

Abdicate, to give up or to not fufill your responsibilities. There are so many times during your lifetime that you just want to ABDICATE. When you are a young mother and your baby hasn’t slept in days and so you are worn out and they are crying and you are at your wits end....I have been there. You just want to ABDICATE. You no longer want to be a mom right now in this moment. Of course that is a very short moment of which you will feel unnecessarily guilty for many years. I challenge any mother to say they have not had that moment.

It may not come when your baby is an infant, but when your baby is a young teenager trying to find his way in the world. He is defying you and what you have tried to teach him. And everything in you is screaming I ABDICATE....NO I DON”T WANT TO BE THE MOM... as you pick yourself up and dry your tears and put your big girl panties back on. And yes you will because inside that smart alec teen standing there is your little itty bitty baby that you love more than life.You may be at a loss on how you are ever going to teach them. And desperate that they will never grow up to be a responsible adult.. And again you will have many days of unnecessary guilt that will haunt you for many years over wanting to give up.

There will be many more times in your life as a Mom when ABDICATING will be the first thought in your mind. But as a Mom, you know that is not a choice. Mom is the best job in the world... well maybe not the very best..Ask your Grandma. I am both and I never thought I could love anyone more than my children. Well, I was wrong. And when my grandkids tell me...I have the best Grandma in the world...Well lets just say...I am glad I didn’t ABDICATE.

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