Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Not feeling Well

I hate Fibromyalgia, I hate not feeling well and I get so angry when I don't feel good...
I ended up teaching a half a day yesterday in the Special Ed class at an Elementary School.
I enjoyed it so much.

I did not sleep well. I hate Zanaflex...I have to take 3 for them to help me sleep. If I try more than that, I will hallucinate...and sometimes the 3 makes me. Like last night...But when I am sick, I dream crazy anyways...
I sit up last night too long as I knew I had to work today, but I just kept feeling worse and worse.
I was coughing...When I got up this am, I knew I could not work today...
I can see that this is the type of job I need. And I feel I have made huge progress...When I worked before, I would make myself go in sick or not...I could not let my people down now could I...
We were told in the workshop that they would not question us for cancelling a job, if we couldn't do it, we couldn't do it...I just feel rotten about it...

Do you ever get confused on if it is JUST the FM, or if you are really sick????
Doesn't it make you crazy? You spend a few days thinking it is just the FM until you get way worse and realize you could have nipped it in the bud. Or you think you are really sick and go to the doctor, and guess what...It is ONLY your FM...

I suppose you can figure out that this is a big ole whiny post today...
Here's to hoping for better days tomorrow...

Oh by the way, I have an appointment with a pain doctor on Friday. I am feeling pretty depressed about that also. I feel like my doctor is punishing me for needing more pain meds.
I have been on the same dosage for about 4 years...and now I am needing more than I have been prescribed. Duh...4years...I am becoming tolerant to the issue. Not only that, and I have talked to the PA about this. I had gastric bypass surgery 5 years ago. So I believe that the drug is not absorbed by the body before it is pushed out of my system. Much like the nutrients in my food.
So although the dosage I am on is higher, I am getting much lower bennefits from it. I even have to take chewable vitamins so that they will dissolve quicker.
You know, the doctor could have tried me on the liquid...but nope...

Have a great day and I will try and cheer up before I come back here...

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