Dec 7th

Good Morning, it has been a while since I've been here again. I have just been so busy...also, that depression stuff that hits me sometimes, well every now and again, it will knock you down out of the blue, but usually if you are paying attention, you feel yourself sliding there gradually...And I guess I have had some of that going on. When I start losing interest in my online stuff, I don't want to talk on the phone, just these kind of things is a sure fire indicator that my depression is kicking in...and then you start sliding into that dark hole and bam...



I have had alot of stuff going on in my life. I found out that I absolutely love being a teacher. And even though I don't have the education or the title, I am a teacher. Some of the students ask me how long have I been teaching..Well in real life...that would be when I was 19 and had my first daughter.



I am at the school now with these kids the same age as my grandchildren, in fact I have had my Gdaughter in class. It just seems that these kids are suppose to be so much more smarter than we were, but you can not teach them how not to be a kid...Now what I mean is...Although they are taught more, exposed to more now, we assume they are so much more mature...Just because they are going through the motions...trying to be all grown up way too fast...They are still just kids. They are not mature enough to handle all that we have exposed them too. They are in fact...Just kids...Thank Goodness. Our goal should not be to help them mature quicker, our goal should be to limit the garbage that they are exposed to. The grown up stuff that they see and hear...Let these kids just be kids...Let them wonder about all the adult stuff...But don't give it to them...

You know that old wives tale about kids should not learn to walk before they can crawl...Now I don't know all the reasons behind that, but there are alot of things you can learn by crawling... You miss alot of stuff down there on the floor looking up when you don't explore the world on your knees first. And I think the same could be said for kids. If they don't explore one year at a time...one hour, one minute, just think of all they miss. S....L.....O....W....Down.

This is one thing I learned when I was a kid, I still don't know how to stop it, but it has been one of those things that have always bummed me....You wait for all those miles stones in your life...Turning 13, 16, 21...Graduating, Marrying, having kids...but you know what...You spend years looking forward to it...but instead of stopping so that you can enjoy that time...OH NO...it is like a speed train...you better look fast, cause it is over so so fast..Sort of like Christmas...we spend 4 weeks or better getting ready for that all important day and then in a matter of a few minutes...GONE....

My Grandmother spent alot of time in our home. She lost her husband the month before I was born, so I never knew my Grandpa....and my mom was a late baby, so my Grandmother was older....But she would come and stay at our home. During her last years with us, she was here more than she was at home. She was almost blind and so she stayed with us...We called her Maw...I worked at the same place as my Mom. And we worked alot of overtime. She would help me with my children on the Saturdays that I worked. She would always say..."I can't believe it is time to put up that Christmas Tree. I know we just took it down a couple of weeks ago." Well guess what I thought she was crazy then...But now I know exactly what she meant.

Also, even at a young age...grade school..it always made me a little sad when we went into a New Year. When we would write our name on our paper and put the date, changing the year would always just leave me feeling empty...WHY??? I don't know.



Well I guess I should go...I will be here more often...I have some stories to tell of Junior High...I hope that I can continue to Sub...

The last few weeks have been hard as I have had to work every day. But we have 10 more days of school and I can only work 5 of those, and that will bring us to our Christmas Break...

Have a great day...