Monday, September 24, 2012


I have written about my job before. I am so fortunate that I found it and I feel so guilty calling it a "Job". I think that I would pay them to let me hang out there all day. There is no way to express how it has changed my heart. Who knew that loving children that didn't belong to me would be so easy and satisfying. I am absolutely certain of one thing. God blessed my life by putting these Angels in my world.

 I love my children and grandchildren, but my students at school are on another level. I don't love them any more than my own, but they certainly have that part of my heart I never knew existed.  We have 4 autistic grandsons that span the spectrum. When I see the challenges facing these precious children in my classroom, I know that we could be facing worse.

Right now, the challenge is to say goodbye to Megan. I am not ready to say goodbye. It doesn't feel like I have had enough time with her. I know that when God gets ready to bring us home, it is His choice. Wanda and I talked about how she would be perfect in Heaven. And I said that she was already perfect, but that she would be able to walk, talk and run. There would be no more pain and suffering. After taking care of her baby for 16 years,Wanda was worried about who would take care of her there. Of course she answered that question...God will.

For the past 16 years, she has been an angel here on earth. Her smile is beautiful and lights up the room. Her sky blue eyes sparkle when she laughs. She throws her colors and blocks across the room.
Her laughter for pulling such a stunt is contagious. Of course when we scold her for throwing those toys, she rolls her eyes at us.  I love to hold her soft hands. I always imagine cuddling up and watching movies with her. Her mom said she loves to cuddle. In our 5th hour, we play music. It doesn't matter what it is, she has a great time. She lights up, claps her hands and throws her head back and laughs.

The doctors have now said that they have done all they can. She is such a fighter, you just can't imagine her giving up. I don't think she actually gave up, but her heart just can't keep up anymore. So now it is God's turn to decide when to call her home.  I know that God is choosing a pair of Angel Wings and that nothing but perfect will be good enough.

So whenever he sends her wings and calls her home, we will lose a part of something wonderful. A piece of my heart will be broken. I don't know how to say goodbye. I don't know how to comfort her mom and dad, I don't know how, I just don't know how. I know that prayer will make it better, and I know that we will have plenty of those. My prayer for Ron and Wanda is that God gives them the strength to go on from here. I pray that he helps them understand how taking Megan from our lives is the best thing. I know they will not see it now. I cannot imagine it ever making any sense.

Megan, when God finds the perfect pair of Angel Wings, he will lift you in air and set you free. You will always be with us. We will see your smile in the face of a stranger. We will hear your voice in the wind. When we least expect it, we will feel your butterfly kisses on our cheeks. And although your heart will be silent, we will hear it. These memories you have given us are precious.

Thank you Wanda and Ron for sharing your beautiful Megan with me. She will have a special place in my heart that I will never let go.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well written Cindy. Thanks for all you do for our kiddos!

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