Another night

Well here we go again, me rambling and then me writing stuff here...It is 1 am in the morning and I need to go to bed. But first I have a few things to say as I finish watching today's episode of General Hospital. 

Less than 20 days now and I get to see my movie...Please just hang in there New Moon Cast... Rob and Kristen...Hang in there....I know you are in the spotlight ...maybe it will make the whole thing easier. Because it must be hard when you can't go out when you are simply working. But at least now that you are on the Promotional Circuit, you are working and getting out at the same time. I know.It isn't easy...but please don't give up on us that aren't completely out of our minds. That we know you were just doing your job. My daughter use to say....and it was true for her..She didn't cry in movies. Because the job of the actors was to make us cry...They get paid to make us cry. When she had kids, she did get more emotional. and she does cry in Movies now. And she is my partner in all this Twilight craziness. 

I just hope that the kids can hang in there until it is all done...They have the rest of their lives to get back to normal...It will go back to normal..guys..hang in there... 

Well gotta go...another problem is brewing..see you all later.

I told you I'd be back

Well you see,  I have been talking with my friend Diane Chamberlain..Asking her questions about writing. She is so kind and patient and answers me. I listened to an interview with her the other day. She is such a delightful person. I love her. But she suggested to writer wantabees...Take some courses in composition to learn how to write. I have been thinking of that seriously. I know that they have creative writing classes at the votech. I also think they might have online classes. I know that Alicia and Shelly at the Jr. High would help me. I just have to ask. them. They are true teachers and have such a passion for teaching. I suppose they wouldn't mind if the person they were teaching was an old grandma that doesn't want to get old anymore. Or doesn't know what she wants to be when she grows up.

After visiting with Diane, reading how Stephenie Meyer and Stephen Kiing have characters yelling at them, I have decided I need to sleep in my recliner with a pen and paper in my hand. And all those thoughts that I hear all night. start jotting them down. Most of my dreams are about people I don't know. These could be the characters that I am suppose to write about. I know I told my counselor that sometimes when I shut my eyes, it is like "Showtime"...All these people that I don't know in my head doing things that are weird, or different. He said maybe I should write a book.. The thing is, I can never remember it the next day. And if I don't take something to help me stay asleep, I don't get any sleep. So what is the trade off. Well I figure that maybe for a while I am going to start listening and stop taking my meds and just see if I get those characters shouting stuff I should write. And start with some writing classes, Composition like Diane suggested and just see. Sometimes I have great ideas, but because I haven't taught myself all those thousands of words in our vocabulary that I need to know. Oh how I wish I had paid better attention. I so see the need to have the kids in my jr. high classes learn the vocabulary words. How do you teach yourself vocabulary words.  I mean, if you don't use them everyday, you forget them. Now I know that you can learn just about everything on the Internet now. I know sometimes I have trouble recalling a simple word that I do know and use. Is that just my old age. You would think that kind of stuff would come more easily the older you get..You know Practice makes perfect and all. And so I have been speaking and writing for 52 years now, so you would think that my vocabulary would be humongous. Alas. that is not so. The fact is, it has probably gotten smaller and smaller. .
Although I know that it is larger than some seventh and eighth graders. That is not saying very much. Sometimes I am amazed at how much they do not know. Words that they trip over, I am like What? Right now in Jr. High we are teaching 12 important words that everyone should know. Now let me see if I can remember some of them...
Infer- read between the lnes
Evaluate- Judge
Summarize- short version
I can''t remember them right now..I'll be right back....
Trace-list in steps
Analyze-break apart
Formulate-create
Describe- tell about
Explain-tell how
Support-Back up with details
Contrast-How things are different
Compare-How things are the same
Predict-What will happen next
Okay, I am having trouble seeing the screen now...it is time to put this away and go to bed.
My eyes are crossing.... Who knows, maybe tonight will be the night that my Characteres jump out of my head and onto the paper,,,,

November 2, 2009

 Well October is over and here it is already November with less than 2 months left in 2009.My first post about being obsessed with Twilight was August 14. Wow...how the days have zoomed by. Since then, I have had a new grandaghter, a birthday, Labor day, Oh and don't forget school started. I have learned about Twitter, celebrated my 5 th year post op gastric bypass surgery, Celebrated 2 of my gsons birthdays, Read the Twilight books about a million times. And now we are counting down to November 20th. Except, I am waiting until Nov. 23rd to see the movie. I have found out a few things about myself.

I am now a published Author...As I write web content for a very nice person who pays me. I am searching for a way to write a book. So now I have started my writing careeer, my teaching career, and looking forward to trying my hand at acting. I know it all sounds sort of crazy....but that is me a crazy kind of girl. I have decided I no longer want to be old, so I am going to get younger now...You may ask me how I plan on that. Well it is simple. If I can't find any Vampire Venom, I will have to resort to having unBirthdays. It should work, Right? Well I have to do something. I mean actually getting older is better than the alternative, however, I want another option.

Also I do have sort of a "Bucket List". I want to really play piano. I want to try my hand at acting. I think I can do that. I want to travel more. I want to ride in Airplanes and I want to ride in a Hot Air Balllon. I believe that if you do that once, it will become an addiction of mine.

Okay...enough rambling today. I expect that I will be back in while to write some more...Hang in there today.and visit me on Twitter 

Hey...it worked....Counting down till I see New Moon. I plan on not going the opening weekend, but the following Monday in the Middle of the Day...

Feeling a little anxious

I am feeling a little anxious that our favorite saga right now may never get finished with the same characters that started. I am afraid we will have to have a new "Bella" and "Edward"....The CRAZY Fans are making these young stars lives impossible. I am sure they appreciate the fans when the fans behave themselves, however, I am sure they wish about now that they could just do some of that shape shifting and become someone else for a while. Heck it is dangerous to say the least. Mobs screaming and following them...What do you expect to find when you get close enough to them to see them. A nice quite chit chat, or what????IT drives me crazy.

It creates all kinds of excitement. I hope that they have people in their lives that can give them guidance and counseling to make it out to the other side. I am sure they have lost their patience about a year ago. And all of this excitement and "S%$5" roles down hill. So everyone connected to this couple of kids gets the back draft of the Fire that burns.

I seem to blame it all on the Fans, but in reality the fuel that flames the fire is the Paparazzi. I know they need to make a living, but I think that these folks that you seem to intruding on their lives would make themselves much more open if you all could just back off. Take the shots they give you. There are days we all wish that nobody sees us. I know it aggravates me the no end when I decide I can run to the grocery store in my rag muffin clothes looking like bum. Trying not to look up so no one will recognize me. Of course you always run into someone you haven't seen in a long time, probably the last time you saw them, you decided to run to the store real quick while looking like a rag muffin.

I have an idea Rob and Kris and the whole gang....Everyone go out to Esme's Island and shoot the whole Breaking Dawn there. Don't allow anyone else in or out and give them that well deserved working vacation while they wind this down...And then maybe, they could just catch the next space shuttle and spend some time on the space station until after Breaking Dawn is done and over...Perhaps the Paparazzi will try to catch up with you all in a special space ship and get lost...LOST IN SPACE....Or as long as we are role playing here, lets get the Evil Twins from the Volturi and sic them on the Paparazzi....Let Alec deem them blind and helpless while little Miss Jane has them screaming for mercy...lol
Ah just had to throw that one in there...

Hang in there Kids...

Oct 3rd is a Very Special Day

Today is the birthday of my 2nd grandson.... Ryan David Kenneth Mathis...
He is an awesome person. I have met 8 of the most wonderful awesome people in the world. Ryan is my 3rd grandchild, and I met him on October 3, 2000. He came into this world at a whopping 10lbs and 4 ounces. He was almost 2 ft long at 23".

I didn't get the chance to finish this yesterday as all the Gkids came over to celebrate Ryan's birthday. He is such an awesome kid. I will tell you this, you cannot spend the day with him and not love him. You will learn a lot of life lessons when you are with him also. The way he sees the world is such a blessing. You never know how he will be affected by what is going on around him. He takes things so literally. I hope he never loses this ability to see the world differently even though I want him to be successful in the real world.

He has written me 3 comic books. I now have 3 never before published "Captain UnderPants" comic books. I don't think that the real author of these would mind one bit if they met Ryan. I don't think they would make a fuss about copy write infringement. He illustrates each one with complete with pictures and dialogue.

If Ryan was in charge of the world, he would be so honest it would hurt or just be funny. He doesn't understand that when he opens his mouth to make a statement about someone, that they should be hurt or angered by what he says. If a person is fat, he says so. He doesn't say it to be mean. He is just stating a fact. This is the easiest way to describe it. Most grownups that have been fortunate to meet him feel the same as I do. They love his frankness as well as his curiosity.

Of all my gkids with Autism, he shows the least signs although who he is , is defined by the Autism. I hope that he would be the same unique and awesome individual with out the handicap he has been given.

If you are lucky, someday you will meet my Ryan. He would enrich your life in ways you never knew possible.

Yesterday was sort of my Birthday....

Not really, but it is the 6th Anniversary of my Gastric Bypass Surgery. Sept 24 changed my life, Really. 2003 was one of the worst years of my life, however, that one decision made the rest of my life better. I am not going to dwell on the bad stuff, like having to quit working because of the DD Fibromyalgia and OsteoArthritis. My husbands dad passed away May 5th 2003. My Dad passed away on November 26. We lost both our dads that year. But making the decision to pursue WLS was a good thing.

When I met with my surgeon for the first time, Dr. Totoro, I weighed 288lbs. I had lost and gained the same hundered pounds more times than I can count. I just didn't have it in me to try again. So on September 24, I went to Mercy Hospital and had the procedure done. Of course the Surgery was painful, but I really don't remember too much about it. I was just so anxious to start my new life. I know that 2 weeks before the surgery, I had to go on a liquid diet. And then afterwards for 2 more weeks, I was on liquids...But eventually I could eat. My weight started coming off and I have never had any trouble.

I initially lost down to 138 lbs. My Mom and husband were telling me I needed to start eating more as I was too "skinny". Well in my mind, there was no way I could ever be skinny enough. However, after trying on Bathing Suits that summer, OMG...I knew then. So I slowly started to gain a bit of it back. I was terrified that I would start to gain and never be able to stop. But I did.
And I got to around 155 lbs. Then one winter, I gained up to 160, and I started to panic. But guess what...as soon as I started moving around more, that weight came right back off. Last year was the hardest though as I was having so much problem with my knee and joints. I got shot after shot of steroids. Then I had to take the prednisone. Then I had surgery to fix my knee. I gained back more weight. My highest was 172. But once again, after winter when I could get out move around more, the weight came off. And I don't mean I had to go on one of those crash diets...It would just start coming off. Then I got a little more disciplined with making good choices when I eat and walking more, I am once again around 155. This is my perfect weight. I would probably be more near 145 if I could have a tummy tuck and excess skin removed. But since I am 52, and my modeling days are over..lol...no tummy tuck for me...
If I had excessive loose skin as some WLS patients do, I would be more willing to deal with the pain. However, I do not. so...

I just thought I would say Happy Birthday to me and post a couple of pre and post op photos...
Let me see if I can find some ...be right back...
Or maybe not...

Twittering...who knew

Who knew Twittering could be so entertaining? When I first got an account way back in April of this year, I just didn't see the big deal. Never really messed with it again...and I would hear of people twittering...and you know..Big Celebrity like people, it still didn't click...Now I figured it out...These people are just regular folks like us and they just feel the need to let everyone know what they are doing...and it is pretty cool to read stuff.
But really, it was when I read that there was a different Director for the movie "Eclipse" and I googled him, then I saw something about him Sending Photos of Taylor Laurent on the set. I thought "Really?" and so I looked and Yes he did....So then I started exploring...

So this morning I saw he had sent a couple of messages and another photo...okay folks go nuts...
Basically in the Foreground, it is a picture of a camera...and way in the blurred background, you could make out that it was "Emmet" and "Rosalie"...but really? Guys, you could barely make them out and only because you knew that these were 2 of the vampires...lol...But everyone was like "Wow" "Awesome" photo...and I am thinking..Yeah Nice Camera...laying on the ground...Reminds me of the ATT commericial of the man on the patio...Tweeting on his phone that he was Sitting on the Patio....WOW....

Oh, and I absolutely love David Cook and his Twitter stuff is awesome as he is very chatty...
I came here because I had something else on my mind, but guess what...Duh..I am having a gray moment..Must because I stayed up till 1AM and then my dog Ruby thought 4:00 Am would be a nice time to get up...I guess this woke Mike up and when I came back to bed a few minutes later, he was yawning and kicking and moving around....JEESH>...stop it already..just go back to sleep...NOT!!!
Well this will definitely have my Fibromyalgia screaming by the time I get home from work...ARGH...

And now that I am ranting a little, We waited for a long time to see a new HOUSE...and last night, Mike was a little too busy to actually sit down and watch it...Maybe tonight...now we are behind on our shows after just one night....I guess cleaning off the DVR was probably a good idea even though I have to go to "On Demand" to see Leverage....

I hope something pulls me out of the "Twilight"...I haven't watched General Hospital in about a month...UHG UHG...

Peter Facinelli And Twittering

Peter Facinelli is now my friend...Whoo hoo...Yeah right...I am just learning how to do this Twittering thing. I mean, I have had an account for a while, but really never did anything with it...Then as my obsession with anything Twilight, I ran across the fact that some of the people that are part of my obsession have Twitter accounts, and they sometime post pics, it led me down the path of the whole Twitter thing. I have heard that it can be addicting, but I am not worried...I do not have an addictive personality...Those that are closest in my life know I haven't know that I have been perfectly reasonable about the whole Twilight thing. I don't read the books when I am sleeping. Oh, or when I am driving or showering...So to say that I am addicted, well you are just way off base...lol

When I first joined Twitter, it wouldn't let me add my phone number. Now it does, so I am ready. I even sent my first text via text messaging this morning. However, if you can send messages, shouldn't you be able to get them on your phone from other people. How do you do that? If it is even possible...I don't know. Not that I want David Slade to Twitter me...or Peter...my new best friend...

I do want to say that I think it is a great way to speak to your fans. This way, you have a voice, instead of letting all the tabloids put words in your mouth. I think that gives most of us more sane fans what they really want. Not lies and innuendos and pics of you sitting drinking coffee. An occasional pic of your friends that sometimes happen to be someone else we might like to sit and drink coffee with.

So thanks to all those celebs who participate and give us our fix without all the trash of the tabloids...You are awesome. I especially enjoy, when one of our non twittering "celebs" give us a tweet from your phones...lol

"Teachers and Twilight"

I am not sure of the title for this particular "story". I guess I will start writing and it will come to me. First of all, just a note to let you all know...I am having way too much fun at school this year. I know that I am only a sub, but I only sub at one school and am there almost every day. The students know me and most love me as well as the teachers and the staff. But I guess I am really cheating as I get the good without all the junk.

Let me explain "junk" as best as I can. Since I really don't know what all the teachers have to do. I do know they have so much more to do besides "teach". They have tons of paperwork. They are responsible for every child that comes through their class. They have to answer for each and everyone of their failures as well as their successes. Not only are they responsible for 100 plus students, and keeping the school up to date, they have to answer to the parents of each one of these students. And while they are fighting to get each and everyone of these children through school, they don't always have the support of the parents. They have students that can't do enough for them, as well as the child who refuses to even bring a pencil to class.
Oh, also, they have to continue their own education throughout their careers. And if they should have their own families, how do they fit that into the day...
Thank you Teachers, I see now you are truly awesome and really way underpaid. I also see that most of you are here because your heart and soul is about loving and sharing and lifting these kids up. It is not about the money...

This is not what I am here to write about. I came here to talk about my new obsession. I know Twilight...but not even that, but the craziness of the paparazzi and the fans...and those that are so obsessed with Rob and Kristen.

I hate to admit that I have kids older than them. I have a Grand daughter almost as old as Kristen..."Ouch, That hurts"...But I feel for these kids... I know that they chose this life and it is in essence one of the "evil" rewards of the job. It is like, if you have a job and you are working and people love you...well that has to be the "Why" of doing this kind of work. But these kids started young and when they are in a movie like "Twilight", well it speaks volumes for them when they can tell it so well. And then they wake up and now someone is capturing every single second that they exist on camera...and sharing it with the world. They get no time to do have a bad day. And all the screaming girls after Rob...I guess I never understood that.

When the story is as good as this you can expect people to project themselves on to the characters in the movie and that get's lost with fiction of the character and the reality of the people portraying them on screen. And for these characters to come through to the screen, you know that the people that bring them there, have to believe and feel every moment of the story...So now you take two young people doing a grownup job trying to portray these characters, they have to become that character for a brief while..How could they not project themselves their feelings to the character and these characters project themselves on to the actors. I know this sounds weird, like a roller coaster. Right? Okay if you are still able to follow my insanity this far, listen a little longer. Most Actors do their job and have all they hype for the brief time...Then they move on and do other things...But these folks have to do this again 3 more times if the fans are lucky. All the craziness that was new to them is now getting old, and the 2nd movie isn't even out yet. They have signed on to do this again and again. They are now shooting the 3rd movie. I can only imagine they wish they could make the last one immediately and be done with that. Then they wish that all 3 movies come out within months of each other so that they can just get over with and move on...I cannot imagine having every moment of your life on camera can be pleasant...You could tell from interviews and things that Rob had said, that he was already so tired of the same old same old.

Now the craziest thing, is that we want the story to be real. In order for that to happen, our characters Rob and Kristen have got to live the story, right. They have to be in love too. What kind of expectation is that. I already think that they have to feel something like that when doing all the scenes together...But to expect it from them is crazy...And then like I said before..most actors are able to shoot, promote and then go on...And if they do have a relationship off screen as well, then if it isn't real, they will move on...You know like in the "Notebook". Our characters there fell in love as did the actors; Ryan Gosling, Rachel McAdams. Poor Ryan went through hell when they broke it off. My gosh how could he Noah do that do our Allie...

Rob and Kristen are so so young...and of course I love a great love story, and wish that they could have happily ever after... The odds are not in their favor. What are the odds? Oh no...I am going to do it...No, I won't...I am not going to quote the book here...but it is in the book "New Moon" on page 508. I am obsessed.

So here is to you Rob and Kristen....I wish you the best, and I wish that on the other side of all this craziness you are still friends and that what ever you choose you are happy. That life treats you well. I know it seems I am obsessed with you...Not really...I just want to see the movies now...and I hope that you continue to make my "Twilight World" enjoyable...I don't care to see you standing on the corner pumping gas in your car, or sharing dinner...so go away paparazzi. I just want to see the taping of the movies and the trailers and the behind the scenes...And as always...I want to see you all enjoying it to the rides end and you get off the roller coaster in one piece. Oh...and if you by some miracle chance see this blog and want to make just one wish of mine come true...I would love to play dress up and walk the red carpet some day ....Just have someone ask me..."Whose dress are you wearing?"

Okay...So I need some serious Help!!!

You know...I think I need meetings now! I have to say thank you to Stephanie Meyers for bringing me another obsession. I don't really think I needed anymore, however, I got it...
And not only that...I drug my daughter in with me....The joke around our house is we can't eat, or sleep...and we have to have our daily dose of Twilight...whether it is book 1,2,3 or 4....it doesn't matter...And the movie is in the DVD player waiting for me to just push play...ARGH>...

And I have been trying to figure out what is wrong with me...I don't go gagagaga over movies or movie stars. But You know I am so interested in everything that Kristen and Rob are doing...makes absolutely no sense to me...I KNOW IT IS A MOVIE!!!!I know that Kristen and Rob are not Bella and Edward...But maybe it is just that because they know these characters as well as I do...and you want to say...What do you think???? It isn't even like this is a real story for heavens sake...it is a fiction book with mythological characters.
I always hate all the magazines and stuff and papparrazi always in these peoples business. You know....Sometimes I would like to sit down and visit with some of the "Stars" of different movies, cause you know you see them in interviews and you can see that with their performances they let there own personality leak into the character. Of course, they don't need anymore friends and I sure don't have anything in common with any of them...It isn't like I am going to be walking down the street one day and say ...Oh Hello...how are you and what do you think of the color of the sky today???...or how is your mom, sister, or brother as I know nothing about them...
I am talking about all Stars, not just these young teenagers....
But I would like to thank them for bringing to the screen the love story that Stephanie has so graciously given us. To make Bella and Edward and all the Cullens real. To make this fantasy of Vampires and Werewolves come to life...
And no matter how old you are, to tell the love story so well...Who has not suffered the pain that Bella does when Edward leaves her broken in the forest? And the pain that she felt when she just really wanted to die...and still the sun came up everyday and she had to continue on as if he had never been. I think that we have all been there. Whether it was a boyfriend, or a even someone we loved that died. The hole that we cannot fill no matter what we do...We go through the motions day after day waiting for the pain to go away and it doesn't. And we try to keep moving one step in front of the other when what we really want to do is curl up in that ball and never get up. And then we try to pull ourselves out of the hole and one step at a time we want to move forward, but to do so, would mean we had given up and we were admitting that the one person was never coming back...Ever...and we just don't want to let go....

If anybody reads this blog, I doubt they do, but anyone that is at least my age, do you remember our love story...It was called "Love Story"...and in that story our hearts didn't heal as Oliver had to say good bye to Jenny and there was no waiting until she came back, cause she was gone forever. And of course the words that every girl had memorized by heart "Love Means Never Having to Say Your Sorry". I think I would like to see that movie again...Remember the music.
Click on the Link...I remember we sat in the theater and watched that movie like 3 times in a row...And the tears just poured out....so I suppose that maybe when Bella and Edward find there way back to each other we are cheering....Like Rosalie said of her story...It doesn't have a happy ending, but which of ours does...Well Bella and Edwards is...Surely not Oliver and Jenny...and then on a sad note...Ryan O'Neals real life love ended with the same fate as Olivers when he lost Farrah...

Well I never expected to get here with all this writing...but that is where it took me...

So Sorry Kristen and Rob...Don't mean to obsess over you....But just know you are not the first and won't be the last...And the fact that we are all obsessing....just means you did a very good job of making us believe you are our Edward and Bella....Looking forward in seeing all of the movies...Maybe if Stephanie could just give us more....then we wouldn't have to look at you guys to carry us through....lol

Birthdays and Gifts and All that stuff!

Today is my Birthday...But more importantly it is the birthday of my very precious Ashton Lloyd Mathes as well. He was born on my 46th birthday...The best Birthday present I ever did receive.

He is another of my Grandsons that fall in the Autism Spectrum. His needs are different from his brothers and cousins. I think that if you could just say Autism and have a short list of symptoms, maybe we could understand it better. Maybe they would find a cure or cause....But the spectrum is huge and there is no way one person can have all the symptoms. Heck they don't even group together the same way in two people. I am not sure how correct as far as percentages go, but in my experience with my boys and the kids at school. It surely isn't a cookie cutter diagnosis that is for sure. Well this isn't about Autism today, This is just a few thoughts on my Birthday...

I am so blessed with family and friends. I start counting foward and how much time I probably have to live...and wow...I don't know..it's not enough. So "What if?" the concept of Benjamin Buttons wasn't too far off...What if we put a different spin on that...What if you were to live your life to what you thought was half way....and then you turn around and go backwards...Live the rest of your life getting younger...So you know, you have a chance to do those "If I knew then what I know now?"moments over. I wonder how that would change your life. Maybe I could write my first book on that...Hmmm...If I ever get a book written..Do you know writing is very very hard?
I don't mean hard, I mean "WORK"....Ouch...I don't like work...just look at me now..My house is the pits, I am trying so hard to clean it, but...hear I sit writing in my blog that I have been neglecting... Things just pile up...

Hey just an update on new baby girl...She was born on Aug 15 at 5 pm...Weighing in at a very small 7 lbs 10 ounces....19" long...Beautiful black hair and a complexion that is beautiful..
Her Brothers are in love with her...My best Early Birthday present I ever got...Her name...yep they changed it...It is Lilly Michelle... I think that it will fit her....

So I think that as Birthdays come and go....I have to love this one....

Baby Dalilah

Well today or tomorrow, our brand new grand daughter Dalilah will make her debut. I think her name is going to be Dalilah as now after 9 months, they have been acting like switching it...But I don't think Big Brothers will let that happen...

She is going to be absolutely gorgeous. My other two grand daughters are, and I know she will be too....Wendy has the olive skin, Black eyes and hair...My son is dark, with black hair that curls...oh and eyes that are dark as well....Her older brother had the most beautiful curls...We had to cut them, but we won't ever have to cut Dalilahs. Now if the eye thingy skips a couple of generations, my grand daughter may have the sky blue eyes that my mom and grandmother had...or she could have the very green eyes my dad had...One thing we know for sure, she is going to be one of the most spoiled and loved baby girls in the world.

She will be one of the most frilly dressed girls in the world. Let us hope she takes to it...I told Wendy that I use to dress Tamara in Jingle Bell Dresses and Bows too... Now look...And our little Katie, she would rather play in mud than eat...So Enjoy it while you can Wendy as the girls in our family don't really go for all that Satin and Lace...lol

She is already so loved...We pray that she is healthy and God blesses her with his love.
We pray that Autism will not be her cross to bear...but either way...her life will always be touched by it...So for today...Let us rejoice that God has given us this gift to care for him on this earth.

Wendy, enjoy your baby girl as you have your other children.

Vampires and stuff

What is wrong with me..I have become utterly obsessed with this Twilight Stuff...I read and reread the books. Stephanie Meyers certainly has a way with words...

I must have known that I couldn't just read this book...I saw that the girls at school loved it. I saw teachers reading it. I said " NO Way am I going to read a book about Vampires" But my friend brought them to me and said Read!...So I did ...and I couldn't put them down. That was "Twilight" and "New Moon"... Well I knew my Grand daughter had all 4, so it didn't take me long to read the other 2, "Eclipse" and "Breaking Dawn". When I say not long...Within 1 week I had read all four...
So then I watched the movie "Twilight". Right and I thought..wow it isn't anywhere near as good as the book...but that is true with every other movie/book I have ever watched/read. But then...I found my self watching it again. OH and again, and again, And I started reading the last two books again ...And found that I went way too fast and there was a lot I forgot...or it didn't soak in. So Now I am on Eclipse for the 3rd time. And if that is not enough, you can go to Stephanie Meyers website and click on Midnight Sun. This is Edward's story...She had started it and then somehow someone leaked it out on the internet..Why are people like that...Well she writes that instead of people out there searching on their own, that she put that first rough draft on her website for us to read. She also promises that she will finish it...Oh I hope so..but there are 284 pages of Edward and Twilight through his eyes...It isn't complete, but it does give you a fix that keeps you craving more...I think I have lost my mind! These are suppose to be for young adults...
I guess 50 is the new 16????Well darn it...it could be...I am crazy...

Well I am a little bit manic this morning..I need to shower... and clean house... All those human things we have to do, so I guess I am no vampire...wonder if they would loan me some money for a maid...LOL

Turning 13

It has been a very long while since I had a chance to blog for fun. With my computer down and me using my husbands, I don't get as much access. hmmmm.I have to get mine up and running.

Just had to write this though. I scribbled it down on a piece of paper as it was something I definitely wanted to say later. ..

On July 22nd, my very special Grand Daughter Anna turned 13. She is officially a teenager now.
I am so proud of this beautiful young woman. She is as beautiful outside as she is inside.
She is full of confidence and her heart is beautiful and full of generosity. She will have the world eating out of her hands...

Now she has to start making the choices that will shape the rest of her life. Some of those will be easy, but she will be faced with some very hard ones. With everyone pulling her this way and that, sometimes making the right choice becomes clouded by not having the experience to see past the moment.

You hope that every choice she makes will be the perfect one. You know that the odds are against that. So you hope that the bad choices she makes will have just enough consequences. ..just enough to affect her life in a positive way. Just enough to give her the wisdom to NOT make them again. Just enough so that she doesn't change her personality which has blossomed so beautifully.

Then you hope that you have taught her to respect herself. You pray that she will be a leader and not a follower. You pray that she chooses her friends that support her and respect her. You pray that the friends she chooses are true to her, and she has the wisdom to know.

I want her to know what compassion is. To show compassion to those who really need it. Sometimes it isn't easy to look past the persons faults to see that what they really need. To judge them is easy. To accept that everyone needs love and a chance is not always so easy.

I want her to learn to laugh and laugh until she crys. Laugh at yourself and let the world know you understand your imperfections. And cry...Don't be afraid to show that you can be vulnerable also. Let the tears fall and let those that love you help dry them.

Enjoy Life Anna...cherish each and every day...As you are wishing for your next important birthday, don't forget to slow down and live in the moment. When you turned 13...wow that was wonderful..but today in less than a week, you are already another 4 days or 96 hours older....
Time doesn't stop. So slow down as they say...Sometimes Grandmas say the wisest stuff...and I am not talking about me...I am talking about my Grandma...And she said...Time flys...well obviously she wasn't living my life which seemed to stop or be going in sssllllooowww motion.
I haven't seen the movie "Benjamin Button", but the concept...I imagine his life was going backwards so so fast and the younger he got, the slower it got...

Think about this...If you live to be 80 years old, you only have 29,200 days on this earth....
On your 13 birthday you were 4745 days old...In 3 years till your 16 birthday, that is only 1095 days to go...Doesn't seem like so much time does it?

Know that I love you my "Little Bitty Angel Anna Baby Girl"... I will be here for you when ever you need a grandmas hug...As you get older, you will need them more and more again...

I had to come back and do a little editing as this Grandma had her numbers, words, meanings all mixed up...I was figuring days and said hours...Well My Anna knows me well enough to know that I am laughing at myself...I don't have blond moments, I have gray ones..must be time to Use the "Bottle" again...Too bad it doesn't help this brain....

Autism Walk

I know it has been awhile since I have updated my Blog. But the last time I was here, I was telling you about my new job at
Well since that and my school job has left me so so busy, getting on to write my personal blog has been like at the end of the list of things to do.

But with only about 17 days to raise money for the Austim Walk
I realized I better do some serious fund raising. I know that you all have heard me talk about my 4 grandsons with Autism. This is a cause that is very dear and near to my heart. You don't understand the differences in the children that have this disabling disease until you see it first hand. My first thought when we discovered that our gchildren had this disease, was Rain Man.
There is so much that we didn't understand. Well we still don't understand it, but we have discovered the many layers that make up this condition. My Grandkids seem to have all the symptoms, but none of them make that perfect match that you assume is Autism. I don't believe we have a Savant. That is what the RainMan was. But for the highest functioning to the lowest, we have it. Our Ryan is highly intelligent and even though he is in special classes at school, his work is that of his grade level or higher. Billy Michael, on the other hand, has learning disabilities that has kept him working on a lower level. But his every accomplishment is so special and unique. He has learned to tie his shoe. Now that was huge. He can read and tell you anything you ever wanted to know or don't want to know about animals. He will be in the 5th grade next year, but his work level is not there.
Ashton they say is under the Autism specturm. His biggest challenges are his speech and being able to stay focused on his work. Also these 3 have social challenges that they are working on.

Noah, he is our lowest functioning and he has no speech. He is nonverbal, but oh so smart. He is also very coordinated and has great dextirity. There is nothing we own he hasn't climbed.

All 4 of the boys suffer from the Sensory Intergration. This is the definition that I copied and pasted from Wipedia: "Sensory Integration Dysfunction (SID, also called sensory processing disorder) is a neurological disorder causing difficulties with processing information from the five senses (vision, auditory, touch, olfaction, and taste), the sense of movement (vestibular system), and/or the positional sense (proprioception). For those with SID, sensory information is sensed, but perceived abnormally. Unlike blindness or deafness, sensory information is received by people with SID; the difference is that information is processed by the brain in an unusual way that may cause distress or confusion."

My Daughter Inlaw made a video a couple of years ago. This features her 4 boys. 3 of them suffer from Autism. The baby, Brody, seems just fine. We hope so.
My 4th Gson with autism is my daughter's child. We don't know why we have this in our family. The Genetics people say that it is surely genetic, but they have not found what it is with their testing yet.

So if you have an interest in helping me with my goal, visit my site at Autism Walks

I promise I will be back to post again soon.
Thanks

Hello

Just a hello today to let you know I haven't forgotten about this. I have just been working on line and stuff that I haven't had too much time to surf or blog. Well I have been blogging, but I am getting paid for it. One of my jobs on Odesk is blogging for a Britain Mobile Phone Service Center.
I just write 3 articles to blog everyday about the different phones on different plans and I get paid to do it...How cool is that? Well if you are looking for a job that you can do from home in your pjs or without putting on makeup, you should really try this out...



Now you may think that it could be scam, but I promise it isn't. I get paid...Every Wednesday. Well this is how it works..You go through the job list, find some you are interested in and apply.
First you have to create a profile of course and here is where you basically build your resume'.
After you do this, you have to download their Odesk program to keep track of your time on line. It does other stuff too, but you have to read about it on the website. Time goes in on Sunday night, then you have until Monday to review it. If you agree and the Buyer (your boss) aggrees and there isn't any dispute, Thursday it becomes official. The following Wednesday your funds are available. Now there are several ways to get paid, but I choose to let them direct deposite the funds into my checking account.
Now how does Odesk make money...Well you agree on how much you get paid per hour and then Odesk charges the Buyer 10%. So the Buyer is the person who pays for the service of having Odesk be the middle man. You do have to fill out a W-9 form...You will recieve a 1099 at the end of the year. So that is when you will take care of your taxes.
Oh and one other way to make money through Odesk is through referrels..And for every person you refer, you will make 50 dollars after that person a referred user earns his or her first $1,000 as an oDesk Provider or …
… a referred user spends his or her first $1,000 as an oDesk Buyer. So you see it is really great...
So please if you are interested and you feel like helping me make 50.00 use this link to get there...

I just realized that I did just that for someone else on Aidpage where I have another blog...

So...If you are looking for some way to make extra money...Check it out...
Have a great evening and I will be back soon with some more news...

Another Saturday Morning

Good Morning and Happy Easter Eve,
We were up early today as we got a call from the Feed The Children to help out distributing food and supplies for those that lost everything in the wildfires on Thursday. Our MotorCycle association is "Star Touring and Riding". Our mission statement basically says that we will promote safe riding and a great relationship between riders and law enforcement, general public, media...so and so forth. It is a family oriented group and our sanctioned rides and events are appropriate for all ages from children to old folks...Here is the website of our Chapter ...STAR 378

When Mike and I were looking for a group to ride with, he did a lot of studying on line to find a group like this. We were interested in joining a group that stood for or did something to help people. This group just fit us and all the members are like one big family. There is always someone ready and willing to help when one of our members is in need.

So we got up about 6:30 this morning and got ready to ride. We met up with our group and headed on over to the church where the truck was being unloaded. It was short notice and I don't know if the word got out that we were going to be there or not. When Mike and I left, no one had shown up yet to receive the boxes. I hope that word did get out.

Oh and one other thing...Jerry Jones, who is the founder of Feed the Children, was there in person to meet and encourage those that receive the blessing that God had provided.
I have seen him out on mission like this twice. If you have never met him, you have to know that what you see is what you get. He is kind and compassionate and always thankful to those that help.

I have to work on the computer sometime today. I also have chores to do...lol I have to get ready for the Easter Rabbit to come...He is going to have to hide eggs inside the house this year as it is suppose to rain all day tomorrow and be sort of cold. I know that the gkids want to come to Grandmas...but I have to tell you, when there is no way for them to get outside...Oh goodness it will be so busy and noisy...

Well here is a Happy Easter to you all. May you have sunshine and warm weather...not in Oklahoma though...

Here we have Winter again! We didn't get all the snow that the weathermen went crazy forecasting... Not in Moore, anyways...But we did get lots of rain yesterday...And we got some snow, but nothing on the ground. When they first started talking about the "Storm"...they said that the SE sides of the Metro would get a trace to 2inches..And as the week went on, they started shouting...IT'S GONNA SNOW IT'S GONNA SNOW!!!! Well once again they were right and then wrong...lol...It is so cold out and the North West part of our state had a Spring Blizzard, but here in Moore..nope...

What I really hate is the day before the weather hits, you can expect mayhem at the store. I had to go as I was doing my regular grocery shopping and I was out of everything. The store was getting busier and busier...You know my thought process about the whole thing is changing as I sit here and write this. I mean, I heard the same thing that I was thinking yesterday as I was standing in line...That people think we are gonna starve in 2 days if we get snowed in...But like I said, my mind set is changing..Why do people really stop into the store..Is it that caveman instinct to gather and store. I think not...I think that it is that...OMG the wind chill is going to be in the teens and I would rather get out today and buy what I need than run to the store to get milk when the wind is blowing 50 mph and I could be home in my pajamas watching a movie wrapped up in a blanket in my recliner...or I could be out freezing my butt off because I want some milk with my cereal...

So you put together the people that have procrastinated and not bought groceries all week, the people that are out of milk and bread, and then the people that think the sky will fall in and send them all to the store at once...Well..There you have it once again... Another mystery solved in the "Life of Cindy"....

I have to work most of the day on the computer so I won't get fired from my Odesk job...But you know what...It is hard when the wind chill is 18 degrees to be perusing over Travel Sites to Costa Rico!!!

Another Autisc Gson Story

Just wanted to give you a heads up about a new product I came across. Funny how things work out.My last post was about my new job as a freelancer for working at home. I came across a job opening creating and helping promote a kid safety device. I was excited as you know I have 4 autistic grandchildren.

Our Noah is a "runner". In Autistic talk, that means that he will take off unnoticed and just walk or run whichever way he wants to go. He wandered out of my sons home when he was 4. My daughter inlaw was in school and my son had the boys. He had 2 of them playing a video game and Noah was laying on his bed watching tv. My son was on the phone with his work. He was a GM for Taco Bell at that time. When he was not at work, he was on phone with his employees who were at work. When the Police walked in the open front door without knocking.

They had Noah. He had walked about 1/2 mile and someone had called the police. My son and his wife were devastated. They had to talk to Department of Human Services, and the police. That is when locks and double locks were installed.

Another time at school, the kids were on recess right before they were to go home. When Wendy went to school to pick up the kids, she had to wait and wait before they brought out the boys. She noticed the police were there, but she didn't think anything about it. When the teacher brought out Noah, she explained that Noah had got away from them at recess. She said that he had gotten pretty far when they caught him. It wasn't until she got home and found a message from the Police Department that she realized they had called the police and the police had found him. By this time the school faculty were gone and she had to wait until the next day to find out what happened. I could go on and on, but I won't ...Not today :)!!
Yes I will, as My son and his family came for supper today, and Noah had made another run for it when he got home from school. Wendy was doing homework, my son was watching tv and Noah was suppose to be in the back yard. Well we have a routine now as you can imagine that we are constantly putting eyes on Noah. He was gone..When that happens everyone even his brothers start looking. Noah had gotten out the front door and was at the end of their Cul de sac standing with some older boys that were playing basketball. We had a good outcome this time.

Back to the product...it is called Kiddo Kidkeeper. Can you imagine the panic that these parents feel when they lose a child. It can happen in a matter of seconds. Even at home when you relax for two seconds. Kiddo Kidkeeper is an alarm that can prevent the unthinkable from happening.
It is an alarm that consists of a receiver and transmitter. Each receiver can be programmed for 4 different transmitters each with their own distinct beeps. And you can program them for short distances (6.5-13 feet) or long distances (13.12-26.25 feet).
Another scary thing for us, is that we have a pool and our Noah is a fish....These alarms are waterproof, and they will go off if they come in contact with water. How is Awsome is that????
I know that we need one... I think that will be Miss Wendy's birthday gift this year...hmmm.Early..as her birthday isn't until Dec...Oh but wait, my son will be 29 on April 19th...I urge you to visit the website http://www.kiddo-safety.com/ and read about it.

Odesk...My new job

I don't know if I mentioned a new online job that I have started. It is a Freelancer type program that puts providers (that's me) and buyers (that is my employers) together and takes care of taking care of our time, our qualifications and so forth. That allows me to go to one place to look for jobs, the buyers a place to choose employees. The way it works, is I put out there my qualifications, take test that Odesk prepares that will give the buyers an idea of what our qualifications are, and I build a profile. There is where I list my required wage per hour. Then Odesk will receive 10% of that from the buyer. So I list 6.00 an hour; Odesk receives .60 an hour of that.
I know this sounds a lot like rambling... Just wanted to let you all know that I have found something that will let me continue to work when my school gig is over :)
If you ever thought about working for your self on line...That means in your pajamas!!! You should check them out. There is jobs for everything from Web Design to Virtual Personal Assistant and Data input..Check it out!!!!

I actually wrote content for a web site...Whoo Hooo!!I got paid writing..I always wanted to be a "Writer"...

Happy Spring

I am so glad that the calendar finally says it is spring. You know if you have spring like weather and it is still winter, you know that it won't last...if you have spring like weather in spring, you know that winter will only tease us a little...Does that make sense.
I do have to say that since I got my safe, I have enough meds to get through the month and my pain levels are not out of control. I still have plenty enough pain, however, it is manageable when you have the medicine you need.

My grand kids are still the light of my life. You know that 4 of my gsons have some form of autism, from very severe to very high functioning. One of the things about them is that they are so very literal and do not understand sometimes how we say one thing and mean something else.
I do know that they learn a lot about history in elementary school and the presidents are given a lot of time.
My daughter in law told a story of her oldest son...Ryan who is very high functioning. He was talking to her belly as she is pregnant and he was being so sweet. He told her, "Mom, I remember when I was in your belly. Jesus created me and put me there." And she said "Yes Ryan that is right" Then with out missing a beat he said with a lot of emphasis." And President Lincoln set me free!!"
You have to love kids. They are so special..One more gkid story...Wendy was bathing all 4 of the boys and they kept asking her, "Where are we going? To Grandmas? NO we are not going any where, and then it became a game...They ask her were they going to Outer Space???and the 2 year old said...NO we can't go to outer space Ashton, Mom doesn't have her space suit! and then Ashton who is 5 got so angry, like it was his mom's fault they couldn't go to outerspace.

Oh sorry about the gkid storys, but they are what makes life so special...

ER

I am so sad that this is the last season for ER...but kudos for them as they have been pulling out all the stops. This last weeks episode that had old doctors there...Man..When I first saw it advertised, and they said all the old doctors were coming and they showed a preview with Julianna Margulies
I wondered what about George Clooney...and then I thought Nah no way...And so if they did in fact advertise it, I didn't see it...So I was so surprised and delighted that he was on there. I am wondering also if it cost them unrealistic money to have him. I would hope that he could do it as a nod to his beginnings, and he already makes more money than most people dream of...But then there is the whole contracts, unions and so forth and so on...to consider...
The storyline that they were a part of was a humanatarian one and he is very generous in that venue.
But it was awsome...I was wishing he could have had some more interaction with the rest of the team...I can only imagine that Linda Cardellini and Parminder Nagra were excited about shooting the episode with him.

Why do they have to end this year. I think we have 3 more episodes...
Oh I am so depressed about this..lol
But I am glad that the network and producers of ER have given us a great last year...
But Archie's character has grown so much and I want to see where that can go..
And then..and then...WHaaaaaa Waaaaa...
Okay enough whining...I hope you all have a great day....

Winter's Back Again

Well here we go with winter again...This is crazy...80 degrees and today 30...hmmm..tomorrow snow and rain and sleet...Well it is March in OK..I remember in 1980...Yes I am that old..
That was when I was 8 months pregnant with my youngest child..a boy..lol...I had 2 little girls and we were spending time in the park as we were having temps in the 70s and 80s...Then a cold front was suppose to come in..This was in late March..The cold front blew in with lightening and raining and it immediately turn to ice and power lines were snapping all over the place and it got so so cold..we had to go and stay at my mom's because they had a fire place to stay warm...My husband was out of town...Our electricity was off for a couple of days..Weird how that happened and then it turned out to be one of the hottest years on record..hmmm...
So that is my weather story for today.
I was suppose to work today, but the Baseball tourny got cancelled and so I lost my teaching job for the day...IT looks like this will be a slow month for me. I am almost out of days and then school will be out, so I need to start looking for another job.
I need lots of prayers right now too...

Good Afternoon

How is it going???We have wonderful weather here today if you can live with the wind...It is horrible today. It might blow in some rain in a few days so that would be good too. We need it. With the wind and dry weather, we are having lots of problems with fires. I know that seems to be the norm any more...no matter where you live. In Australia, California, and even here in Oklahoma.
At least we are having spring..even if it is a little early...I think by the end of next week, we are suppose to be quite cooler...So enjoy it now.

I am sure you did not come here to read about my weather though. How is everyone doing?
My husband has had trouble with his asthma and non allergic Rhinitis for about, Oh a year or so...
And my little Grand Daughter Katie, well she is 6 and also has asthma. She is pretty sick girl right now, but she says she is not..She only has a little cough...and the Doctor is Lying she is NOT Sick...
Hmmm She takes after her mother. Last night we were at the store and she looked awful. Her poor little eyes. Well I mentioned that and she started crying so hard...Her mom asked why she was crying..."Grandma said my eyes were "ugly"...Poor baby...

I love my gkids so much..I know that doesn't make me special..All Grandparents love their gkids...Right..But they are so wonderful. I don't know if I posted here or not about my new grand baby to be...Yep..I am secretly hoping for a girl, but it doesn't matter. However, my Daughter inlaw deserves her baby girl...But she is such a great mom, it doesn't matter...

Well enjoy your day and don't forget to turn your clocks AHEAD tonight...OH may we lose an hour of sleep..yuck...

March 2

Good Morning, It is freezing here today, but temps are suppose to go up up up! In the 80s by the end of the week...But of course our heater went out this weekend..so I have the burners on the stove lit right now..I know, that is a no no...but I am cold. And there are no small children around.

I have not felt well for a long time now. I run a low grade fever for a few days, then it will spike, then it will go away. I have been to the doctor twice in the past month. He now has me on two antibiotics...And I am so so tired...but I know that is the FM talking. You know how you go along and push yourself and the fatigue just comes on slowly until you find it hard to get out of bed, but it hurts too bad to stay in. Well, that is where I am right now...my eyes are red and puffy and they hurt too...
Did I tell you this is a whine fest. I am just so tired of feeling like this. And I know there is a reason I am on SSDI...But for the life of me, I keep lying to myself. That is why I continue to work part time. I enjoy it so much, but it is not being nice to me.

I could just lay down and sleep all day...not..as I cannot sleep like that, but if I could..oh it would feel so good...

I am also so angry...with the economy, with the politics, with all that I cannot change but is eating me from the inside...
And if that isn't enough... Those Crazy people from the Westboro Church out of Kansas has decided that God Hates Our HIGH SCHOOL..
They will be protesting outside our High School today and spewing out words that God Hates our Children here...What kind of nonsense is that???
I believe that people have a free will and choice about how they worship God. But to stand outside and tell our teenagers that God hates them is just a little bit more than I am willing to accept. It is bad enough that these people show up at times where we are mourning our family members, but to come out and tell Children that God hates them...I cannot accept that.
I am just so tired and I know that God does get angry with us, but he loves us...

Okay I guess that I have whined enough today...hopefully tomorrow will be better.

February

Can you believe it is already February! I have a real bone to pick with the ground hog! How dare he see his shadow. I am so ready for winter to be over and it is only half way over.
Hey I did see a Robin on Monday, so even though the ground hog saw his shadow, the robin spit in his face...so to speak.

Over Spring Break, we are going down to the Hill Country of Texas. Hopefully it will be warm and not too crowed as I am sure everyone else has the same idea...GET WARM...lol

My FM has been flaring, but onward I go...However, I woke up Monday and my left foot was hurting so badly, I almost went to the ER just to get a shot...Then I started running a temperature. I went to the doctor yesterday and he xrayed my foot and even though it is swollen and red, there was nothing wrong with it. He said I did have a slight infection and gave me an antibiotic. I think I must have had this infection for sometime as I have been running off and on for awhile. The foot problem was just coincidental. You know in fact, I was complaining of waking up at night with sweats for about a year now. Probably I have had a low grade infection all along. I told my Rheumatologist's PA and she decided it was menopausal...hmmm.
I just think I have been having night sweats...

Teaching Geography today and thought I would pass some time writing in my blog...
Here is hoping we see a lot more Robins and less cold temperatures.

Happy February 1....Super bowl XLIII

My how time flies by...can you remember just a little over a month ago, we were eating pie and candy and saying Merry Christmas...Well now we can just eat pie and candy and say Oh Man..I shouldn't done that...
Well we are thawing out from an ice storm that was only suppose to drop about a .10 of moisture on top of us...We ended up with about 2 inches of ice and sleet... School was out for 3 days...Now it is almost all gone and we are looking forward to some really nice weather. I am having Motorcycle withdrawal...Well really I am having withdrawals from spending time with my friends.
We were suppose to go to a huge Super Bowl party out of town in Crescent with our friends...However due to the "ice storm" our friend had to work to make up for the days off he had...Darn it..
So instead we will have a party here...Mike said we would smoke something...NOT>..my idea is a pot luck and we can snack and watch and snack...Bring a dish or chips or something..I want to watch the game too....

My body has been really hurting with out much sleep... I had ran out of my ativan awhile back, and even though I am on a low dose and can take 2 a day...I don't take them all the time...But when I got the filled the other day and took one at bedtime with my other meds...WOW...I slept better...Who knew...

Tomorrow I take Mike to the doctor. He is a lung specialist. His asthma and non-allergic Rhinitis has been flared up for more than a year. So finally his reg doctor did a CT of his lung. It shows some signs of pneumonia. I wish they would go into his lung and take some biopsy of the tissue and really look good. He has lived on cough medicine for more than a year now.

Well trying not to be worried, but I am . I think I would feel better if they would just find something and fix it rather than giving him meds that don't work and sending him home..
Well enough about that...
Everyone have a wonderful Super Bowl....

What I have learned so far at school....

As a Substitute Teacher...
I have learned how difficult a job the teachers have when dealing with these kids...Especially the kids in Junior High...Each child comes from a different family and different set of circumstance..they are going through puberty and learning a whole new set of rules... trying to fit in and everything is changing all at once. We think of the kids and know how hard it is, because we remember, or at least we think we do...We don't really, because before we know it, that part of our life is a million miles away and we are trying to learn a whole new set of rules.
But the Teachers are there on the front lines everyday. They have to keep order for these kids when everything about their lives are anything but order.
And then for each child, there is another side of them depending on what set of kids they are with that day. They see the child in the same setting with the same players everyday.
As a Substitute, I see these kids with different groups and depending where they are and who they are with, they are different.
They are trying so hard just to fit in, to be what their parents want them to be, what their teachers want them to be....They just want to be...
Also the difference between the 7th grade and 8th grade is big...And I have watched them from the beginning of 7th grade until now the beginning of the 2nd semester....Some of these girls are growing up and I don't mean just in appearance, but their attitude and their confidence. You can see that some of them have went through the puberty stuff already and are on the other side...and you can see those that are trying. I see girls like myself, afraid to look up because we are afraid some people may be looking at us..And then there are those that can't get enough people to look at them..and then the ones in between.
Then you see the ones in 8th grade that look like they are already in the 12th...and you know what I mean. You can see the ones that have grown up way to fast or at least have more knowledge than they should have.
I wish I had discovered a long time ago that this is something I love to do. I think to myself that I can fit in here and teach and then I realize that I am not smart enough to do that. I do not have the book smarts for it...I didn't go to school and pay my dues. I have been through the school of life.
Well I need to go to bed and so off I go....

Good Morning or Goodnight

Depending on what your view is, it is either way too early or way too late.
Here I am sitting here writing in my blog on a computer that belongs to our friend.
He has a laptop that he got the virus from heck on and brought it down here to us to wipe out and reinstall...and he just keeps leaving it here, and I thought it would be great if I could just try it out and see if I would really enjoy a laptop or not. Right now I think I would. I am going to ask him if I can bring it to our next Star Meeting as I am the Secretary and it would probably be alot easier for me to type the minutes rather than write them. I can type pretty darn fast. I wouldn't have to use correct spelling as I could aslways go back and correct that. But if it is already on my computer, I probably would get our minutes done really fast and then Fred might not fire me as secretary. Not that I get paid to do this, but that is cool..Heck it is not a real job.
My real job is substituting at school. I love that.

If I could take a typing test, I think I could type about 50 wpm.
That isn't too bad. My trouble is with my eyes. They dry out and then I am in big trouble when I have to blink. The same thing happens when I am trying to play the piano. When I blink, I lose my place. I am not very good at playing the piano, but I can play a little. I love it.
That was the best gift I ever ever got...
Well I know that this blog is more about rambling than anything else. Maybe tomorrow or later today I can come back and write some good stuff. I would love to write a book, but I have no talent in that area either...
Have a great day...
Talk to you all later...
Cindy

Our New President and Politics

I just want to say first I am a Republican. I think I have spoken about that before, but I will say it again. Am I a rich person...no I'd say I am not even a rich middle class person, more toward the other end I think.
So shouldn't I be a Democrat? I don't know..I don't think so. I think I am one of those that believe that we should work hard for what we have...And if there are those a lot richer than us, oh well...we do not owe everyone a piece of the pie especially if they haven't helped bake it.
But I do think we should help those that need help. Should the richest people in America pay so that all of us can have? No...
Maybe I want my cake and the frosting and lick the bowl and eat the cake too...if you know what I mean.
But I am a Republican as I am more conservative in my way of thinking..For the first time I just saw a clip of Uncle Ray tells the news...And I have to say it laughs at all of us and explains things pretty well.
However...laughing and jokes and oh mys aside, We have a new President. He is not a Republican, but I wish he were. I would have voted for him.
I see what he wants to do...I hear how he wants to do it, and it soundssssssssss real good.
I just don't know how we are going to pay for it.
And the media and the so called experts throw all this stuff out there for us and I imagine about 75% of us don't have a clue. I am not a politician, I don't have a clue about National Security, how the CIA or SS or FBI is run. I don't know about spy's or none of this...But I have to sleep at night and so we, like our fathers before us vote into office the people we think can best protect us. And like our fathers before us we don't know what makes the world tick...We go to work, we pay our bills, some of us vote and we go home and expect to wake up the next morning and do it all again...So when President elect??? Why do we say that...President Obama tells us he is picking Leon Panetta to head the CIA, I haven't any special qualifications or knowledge that tells me if he is the right person for the job....And most of my friends and relatives are the same.
I wonder what percentage of Americans are really qualified to have a real sense of knowing if this man is the right one.
I have a lot of questions for our new President, but I know that I will not be the one asking him? Heck if I get a signed form letter from him, that is as close to him as I will ever get. Short of writing my congressman or senator, and actually getting a real word to them, He will not hear my voice. Or know my opinion.
Do I think torturing prisoners is right???? Well certainly terrorist should not have the same rights as a person who steals bread for his family to eat. Terrorist should have no rights. There only purpose on this earth is to terrify and destroy my life and that of my family and country.
And this goes for the home made terrorist as well as the foreign ones..This also goes for the gangs that go after innocent people.
So when the Presidential Candidate says...Those days are over, and we won't be torturing prisoners, will the President say the same, or when the intelligence comes to him with photos of children with their heads blown off, will he think the same way. If it was his daughter's, do you think he would feel the same.
I know I am getting way off topic here, and I know that articulation is not my strong point..darn it... but I just want to say that I know I don't have all the information to make the decisions that a President has to make. And I know that I don't know all that I need to know when our leaders make those hard decisions. The ones that are not popular with the people. I also know that real life is not a tv show...and that some of the stuff we see is way overboard and some of it is not as ugly as real life.
I am glad I don't have to make the hard decisions...but I hope that my leaders will have the strength and the wisdom to make those decisions for me...and that tonight when I go to sleep, I can expect to wake up in the same warm, safe bed I was in the night before...Unless of Course God comes back...What a Glorious day that will be!!!! But for now we have to pray that God will give our leaders direction and pray that he is not too pissssssssed at us for all the Hell we have brought on ourselves...

I wish for just now, the press would shut up...and just report the news and not tell us why they think that what they are reporting should be different. You know what I mean??? I don't mean that I have anything against the reporters, I do have a problem with the networks trying to tell us what we should believe... The reporters report what they know, and then we get expert opinions from all these people who are not even part of the decision making anymore. Heck it could be the son of the housekeeper of the last senator's secretary's spouse...
And they ask for their opinion...
Okay I am off of my soap box now...How I wish I could be on the View with the ladies one day...
I have a lot to say...

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!!! I say that like I mean it and I really do want everyone to have a very Happy New Year, so why does this time always give me the blues...Every year. It doesn't matter if things are super, which they are not, but it never fails to put me into the blues.
I know that people get that depression from not getting enough sunlight, but this is so much more.
I can remember in grade school being depressed every new year. It is like I am mourning the loss of time. I try and think why I get so down, I just don't know..Of course when I was growing up and we had great traditions..from the tree to Christmas eve and Christmas morning. And those traditions grew as I got older and had a family of my own...But when I was a kid, my dad drank really alot..and there were lots of fights between him and my mom about his drinking.
Then, the fact that he was a carpentar and my Dad's work was off in the winter time, which meant that money was tight and there were fights about that. I guess it was just not a real cheery time around our house. Oh of course Christmas was magical, but I guess I felt the anger and tension between my parents. Maybe that is why I get so depressed. But you know the new year should be a chance to start over and change things and be new again, but it just seems to me that I was always mourning the loss of time. I love clocks and I like to collect them. I think of it as getting more time. I want real clocks though..not battery operated ones...but seems like that is all you can afford to buy now as the "real" clocks are so expensive.
I think alot of time the reason I do not want to go to bed is because it is like wasting my time. And sleeping late is also a waste of time. I really have a hard time staying in bed because of the pain also. This morning I just wanted to sleep, but I had to get up...I am way too young to feel this damn old...
Well I guess this is just the same old rambling that I always do.
Hope you all have a great New Year and maybe by the time February rolls in, I will be much better...